Sunday, May 10, 2009

My Mother's Day

Today has been up and down. The day started out well enough. Anthony got up with Kyndra for once since it was my "special" day. Of course, I had to wake him up to get her. He sleeps like a log, unlike me. While getting ready for church I got a call from Celia's husband, Phillip, but I was in the bath. I finished getting ready for church and while we were on our way there I called him back. Celia had little Noah this morning at 8:38 am by C-section. Go over to her blog to hear more. Keep Celia and her family in your prayers please. As of right now, he is still with them.

We were late leaving our house and had to stop to get some gas in the van too so we were late for church. Not too bad though courtesy of my husband's speedy driving. Things were going well and then our pastor's wife, Holly, went up to speak and was getting ready to pray. I stood up and asked her if we could pray for Celia. I almost couldn't keep it together telling everyone. I had some of my church family surround me and lay their hands on me as we prayed for Celia. They prayed for me too, which I very much appreciated.

After church we ate at KFC and by this point Anthony had already done a few things to irritate me. We stopped by the Hallmark store to pick up a birthday card for Alexa, my bff Lindsey's daughter. She turned 1 year old today. I ran in to get a card and told Anthony I would only be a minute and he decided to go get the van washed. So I had to stand outside and wait for him to finish. I wasn't pleased. Our next stop was Swindler & Sons Florist. They were open today since it was Mother's Day. I went in and I bought a pinkish rose for Carleigh and I had them make me up something for her vase in case her marker was up. Then Anthony and I went out to the cemetery.

Much to my disappointment, Carleigh's marker was not there. I really wish it was. Anthony and I pulled up and got out of the van and went over to her grave. I placed the rose there on the ground and I just sat there on the ground. And I cried.

Finally I got up and Anthony and I just stood there holding each other. I went back to the van and Anthony talked to the groundskeeper, who was mowing at the time. He asked Anthony if everything was ok. He told Anthony that he has to fill Carleigh's spot with more dirt since it sunk in the ground a little. I guess just everything settling.

We stopped by Alexa's birthday party to drop off the card but we didn't stay. After visiting the cemetery I just wasn't up to it. Lindsey understood.

So now I am home.

Tomorrow I go back to work. 6 weeks already. I'm already foreseeing some awkward moments. You know, the ones where people knew I was pregnant but have no idea that Carleigh is in Heaven. All of my department knows and that is where I spend most of my time so hopefully all goes well. Pray for a smooth day!

18 comments:

Sarah Robbins said...

I will be praying for you tomorrow. I am glad God has sustained you today, and I pray he will continue to hold you to him. . .

Anonymous said...

I am praying for you always!! I am sure God had his hands over you today reassuring you that he is taking good care of Carleigh until you get to heaven to "take over." Happy Mother's Day sis! I love you very much!---Katrina

croleyc69 said...

I will be praying for you tomorrow & the days to come. You are so strong with the Lord beside you. Thank-you for sharing your day with us. I can feel the Lord everytime I'm on your blog. Take care & HUGS. Caroline

Michelle said...

praying you through today & tomorrow. you're a wonderful mother, both to your little girl here and your little girl in heaven - i can tell by reading about your actions & thoughts.

- michelle

Christina said...

{sobbing} I wish I could give you a hug so you knew for real how much you are in my prayers.

Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace said...

Praying for you, sweet friend...and going to check on Celia now...

Love to you,
Kelly

Nickel Pickle said...

I got all teary eyed reading that! I am sorry the marker was not up yet.Its hard going to the grave when there is nothing there yet....

((HUGS)) to you on Mothers Day, wish you could have spent it with both your little girls.

Brooks said...

Good luck going to work tomorrow! I'm so sorry today was rough for you. On a lighter note, I totally know what you mean by having to wake up Anthony so he can get up with Kyndra so you can sleep in a little. Not that Dustin ever does that...

The Martin Family said...

I will keep you in my prayers through today and tomorrow and many more days to come. Happy Mother's day.

Mom Putnam said...

Sorry about today and will say a prayer for you tonight before bed.I will also say one that tomorrow goes ok for you. Can't wait to see you next weekend it has been to long and I want to hug you.
Mom

Betty said...

Today was bound to be rough. I'm so sorry they didnt have her marker up yet, I know how much you were hoping it would be there. I will be praying for you tomorrow...and Celia also.

becky said...

Hopefully they get her marker up soon......and that I get your memory chest finished SOON. Life , as you well know, sometimes throws a few curveballs and I have gotten of task to take care of JJ but hope to have it to you VERY soon.
Praying you have an uneventful 1st day back to work. It won't be easy but your co-workers will take good care of you I am sure

Andi Soergel said...

I will be praying for you tomorrow! Remember that God goes before you!
love,
Andi

Alissa said...

Happy Mother's Day! Your in my thoughts and prayers Holly and so is Celia and her family. I am sorry your mother's day was a hard one. That was a beautiful rose you left for Carleigh! Please know my prays and thoughts are never ending for you.

Jami said...

Many thoughts run through my head as I've read your story, and the one thing that just keeps coming to me is this. You inspire me. To be a better mom, a better servant, and a better person. I can't begin to understand what you've gone through, but what you've done with your loss has made me understand other things. This is where it counts. What we do with the hard times, and what we can give when we feel empty inside. You inspire me.
I will be praying for you. I hope you have a smooth day at work. Somehow, I think you will.
In Him,
Jami

stitchndeb said...

I was really hoping Carleigh's marker was there. I'm sorry you had such a disappointing day. I'm praying you have a good first day back to work today. ~Debbie

MommyIvy said...

I wish there was someting I could do for you to ease the pain. I will keep praying for you!

Jenny said...

That is a great idea, I would love to do that with Kayden's. I have to say my mothers day was not the best, had to leave church early and no to many people said Happy Mothers day to me, besides my mom and Josh

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