Sunday, March 31, 2013

Carleigh’s 4th Birthday

To celebrate Carleigh’s 4th birthday both Anthony and I took off of work and made plans for us to be together as a family (and wearing purple of course!). I made arrangements with the hospital to make some donations to the unit, which included tissues, disposable cameras, and some clay keepsake kits.


I also brought some treats for the nurses-purple cupcakes! They smelled so good!


I was also happily surprised to find out that stillbirthday had donated some Teeny Tears diapers to the unit in memory of Carleigh. That was so nice to see those on her birthday.


I talked to the nurses for a bit, including one of the nurses who took care of me postpartum, and I was telling them about training to become a doula and they definitely wanted me to let them know when I had finished  because they would love to have me come and help families.

Once we left the hospital we went to the cemetery to release some balloons.


I had planned on giving her new flowers but it was a bit chilly out and the water that was in the bottom was frozen and we couldn’t get the flowers out. They flowers still looked good from over the winter so we just left them for now. I wrote a message for Carleigh on a card and also the names of other babies to remember. Lainey and I let the balloons go and they went up and away (the butterfly balloon was dragging a little).


We packed back up and drove to the Cincinnati Museum where we spent the rest of the day. I thought it was fitting that we saw the Omnimax movie The Flight of the Butterflies. It was very neat! We also saw the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit. The girls enjoyed the children’s museum the most.



On the way back home we grabbed some Chick-Fil-A (yummmmm) and the girls slept from all the playing. When we got home it was time for Carleigh’s cake! It was so beautiful and delicious too!


The girls obviously enjoyed the cake a lot. Evanee then had some fun playing with Carleigh Bear, who joined us for the day.


It was a good day for all of us remembering, loving, and missing her.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Happy 4th Birthday

Today my little girl would be 4 years old if she were here with us. Instead, she is celebrating her 4th birthday in Heaven with Jesus. Loving you now and always.

I'll post more about our day soon.

Happy Birthday Carleigh ♥

Saturday, March 16, 2013

3rd annual SGM auction

The 3rd annual SGM online auction to benefit Sufficient Grace Ministries is set for April 3-5, 2013 so mark your calendars!

The event page can be found HERE. Please join and read the rules, which are posted on the event page. Donations for the auction can be accepted until the auction closes. Please consider donating if you can!

Friday, March 15, 2013

First visit in 4 years

Today as part of my training in becoming a stillbirthday birth and bereavement doula I visited the funeral home that we used for Carleigh. I have drove by the funeral home many times. I pass it every time I go to work, but I have never set foot back in there since her last visitation. It has been almost 4 years since I have been back there. Leading up to my assignment I admit I was a bit weepy. Just thinking of going back there brought up a lot of emotions and memories. The funeral home was very kind to us so there is nothing negative about our experience with them. It's just one of those things.

I was surprised that it went much better than I expected. Upon entering the building the first thing I noticed was the smell. It smelled the same way it did back then. It was oddly comforting.

The funeral director I spoke with was the one that I gave Carleigh to after we left the hospital and I reminded him of that. He was very nice and receptive to everything and even contacting me if a family is in need of birth/bereavement support once I complete my doula training. As we were talking about what they offer and what parents choose he mentioned that a mother several years ago even kept her baby with her overnight at the hospital because she was not ready to let go yet and needed more time with her baby. I'm like, "uh, yeah, that was me." :)

So, even 4 years later I'm still working on getting through the "firsts". (Maybe this is the last one??) I do think that if I had visited earlier in my grief it would have been more difficult but I'm in a better place. I've had healing and perspective on my side, but even with that it doesn't erase the missing. Visiting today has magnified the missing.

I have grasped at the memories of those moments with her there that we had-the heart-shattering goodbye, dressing her, holding her, the visitation. I have the need to remember more since this is the month of her birthday and it's fast approaching.

My little girl would be four. ♥

Tuesday, March 05, 2013

March Babies

♥ Remembering March Babies ♥
Logan ~ March 1, 2007
Jaxon, Colin, Courtney ~ March 2, 2007
Maxton ~ March 3, 2009
Jasper ~ March 4, 2009
Ella ~ March 4, 2010
Nathan ~ March 5, 2008
Calvin ~ March 5, 2009
Blake & Ethan ~ March 5, 2008
Shelby, Megan, & Lynne ~ March 6, 2009
Zac ~ March 6, 2009
Anthony ~ March 9, 2008
Dexter ~ March 9. 2009
Amelia ~ March 11, 2010
William ~ March 11, 2009
Sage ~ March 13, 2009
Emma ~ March 13, 2008
Ireland ~ March 14, 2009
Johnny ~ March 14, 2009
Ella ~ March 15, 2009
Genesis ~ March 16, 2007
Lily ~ March 16, 2010
William & Neaven ~ March 17, 2007
Leila ~ March 22, 2010
Gaelen ~ March 24, 2011
Freja ~ March 25, 2009
Thea ~ March 25, 2011
Carli ~ March 26, 2010
Noah ~ March 26, 2008
Seth ~ March 27, 2008
Carter ~ March 27, 2009
Carleigh ~ March 28, 2009
Lily ~ March 28, 2013

Marshall ~ March 30, 2008
Cora ~ March 31, 2009
Levi ~ March 31, 2009
Dharma ~ March 31, 2008

If your baby's name is not listed and you would like it to be please leave a comment below.
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