Jennifer at
The Blue Sparrow wrote
a post about being able to spend one more day with your baby. Her post really moved me and she encouraged her readers to write their own post.
So what if God granted me one more day with Carleigh? This is what I imagine...
It is the weekend and I wake up seeing that it is daylight. I don't hear Kyndra so she still must be sleeping. I love sleeping in on the weekend so I snuggle in deeper in my bed intent on getting a few more minutes of shut-eye.
Out of nowhere I hear, "Holly, it's time to get up."
I sit upright, not sure what I am hearing.
"It's time to get up, my child."
I instantly know it is God talking to me. I am filled with so many emotions. Joy, peace, fear. What could God what with
me?
Knowing what I am wondering He replies to me, "She's here."
I don't have to question what He means. I know. I bolt out of bed and into the living room.
There she is. Sitting on the couch. She appears to be Kyndra's age and God reassures me that He has sent her to me as such but that I only have today and then she is gone.
I fall to my knees and start crying. Once the shock quickly wears off I go to her. I pick her up in my arms and I hug her like I've never hugged anyone before. She hugs me back.
"I've missed you so much. I love you."
I take a moment away from my hug to look at her. She looks so much like her sister it's startling. I give her kisses on her chubby cheeks and run my fingers through her blonde hair as I breathe in her scent. She's perfect. Then she says the most beautiful word I have every heard.
"Momma."
I can't stop the tears now as the moment is everything I have ever wanted. I yell for Anthony but he is slow to wake as he always is. I yell for him again and sensing the urgency in my voice he gets out of bed. He sees that I am holding our daughter but he is puzzled because she looks like Kyndra but it clearly isn't her.
"Who is that?"
"It's Carleigh," I say.
He believes me as God has laid it upon His heart of what today means for us. Overcome with emotion, he embraces us. At that moment, we hear Kyndra stirring upstairs in her room. We both are so excited for our daughters to meet. We go upstairs and Kyndra is standing in her crib. She sees us and is so excited. She spots her sister. I tell her, "It's Carleigh, sweetie."
"Cahr-kee."
"That's right, sweetie. Carleigh, can you say Kyndra?"
"Kin-ah."
The joy is almost too much to take.
We take the girls downstairs to the living room and we make them a breakfast of pancakes. They gobble down daddy's pancakes in record time. Of course, they are both a sticky mess which means a bath is quite necessary. The girls have so much fun in the tub. A couple of water rats. I make sure to give them lots of bubbles. They giggle and squirm as I give them old men beards and bikini tops made out of bubbles.
I make sure to dress the girls in similar outfits like I always planned to do. We don't plan to go anywhere for the day. We know that home is where we want to be. So we play with the girls all morning and cuddle with them as we watch Dora and Diego. Kyndra and Carleigh play together as best friends would and babble away at each other in a language only they seem to understand. They could pass for twins.
After a lunch of mostly crunchies, the girls are tired so we all take a nap together in mommy and daddy's bed. But not until after a pre-nap wrestling fest full of tickle monsters and raspberries and squeals of delight. We finally settle in under the covers when the girls start to rub their red eyes. I make sure that as I fall asleep that I am touching both of my girls.
I wake up first and see my sleeping girls who look like little angels. I leave a kiss on each of their foreheads which ends up waking them up. We decide to take the girls outside to play on the playset. The girls have so much fun playing on the slide and swinging. Their laughter makes the air sweeter. I can almost taste it. God gave us a beautiful day to enjoy with our girls.
We spend several hours outside but then the air starts to get a chill so we go inside and let the girls have another bubble bath as daddy prepares supper. We have french fries and chicken tenders-the staple to every toddler's diet. Carleigh enjoys the french fries as much as Kyndra. The evening passes quickly as we spend more time with our girls. As the light fades from the day I know that it will soon be time to let my little girl go. I don't want to do it but I know I have to. We get our pajamas on and put the girls in bed with us. We give them goodnight kisses and tell them how much we love them.
I feel the embrace of Carleigh's arms and the kiss of her little lips for the last time on this earth. I can't help but cry because I want more time. One day is never enough but I am grateful still. So I cry myself to sleep with my two most precious gifts wrapped in my arms, knowing that this will be the last time I will ever be this happy this side of Heaven.
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