Saturday, April 25, 2009

4 weeks

It's been 4 weeks since Carleigh's birth and 3 weeks since we buried her. My plan was to go back to work next week but I guess I would need a doctor's note to do so since it is before the standard 6 weeks. But I've decided to go ahead and take the full 6 weeks. I was going to go back early so I could still have some time left in case I needed to use it. If I need to have a day off I'll just take it without pay.

My body is recovering extremely well and my heart, though it will always ache for her, is healing with the help of God.

Today I pulled some weeds outside. As I pulled the weeds I listened to Carleigh's songs. (My husband declared I was going to bust the speakers on our computer as I had them turned up quite a bit to hear it from outside.) So I pulled and pulled and thought of my baby. And Kyndra, too, as she was jabbering at me the whole time. There was no way you could ignore her even if you tried. I felt good. The sun was shining. The breeze was blowing. Birds were happily chirping. The soft, pink blooms on my weeping cherry tree reminded me of the color of Carleigh's fuzzy pink blanket. We received a few gifts from family that can go in our flower beds. However, we need to waterproof them first. There are a few statues, a tablet, and a bench. I'm not sure if we will stick them all outside. I know for sure we'll put the bench out.

Oh, how I miss her!


Shelley said...

Holly, at 4 weeks you are feeling so much closer to yourself that you think you can pull weeds forever. Be careful not to over do it - take my word. Take care of you. God bless each of you as you continue through this journey that He has chosen for you.

Sunshine Mama said...

I'm sorry you lost your daughter...words can't express my sympathy for empathy... I actually know someone who had a baby born like your daughter. He, Alexander, lived a few hours. Even the pictures of him in death were...touching. I'm sorry.

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