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This book reading is for In Faithfulness, He Afflicted Me by Lynnette Kraft. (To visit Lynnette's blog click here.)
I can't say that I blame Lynnette for feeling disappointed that she was pregnant again after having 3 babies in just 3 years time. She was facing a lot of difficulties emotionally and physically. It can be hard to be happy and optimistic when your body and mind aren't feeling the same way. Kyle supported Lynnette and knew in time she would be happy, and he was right. Things started looking up and Lynnette began feeling better. Everything seemed to be going fine with the pregnancy and the delivery went well too.
Lynnette talked a tiny bit about labor and childbirth. I haven't experienced going into labor on my own yet. Both with Kyndra and with Carleigh I was induced. I swear Pitocin doesn't work on me. I never really make any progress with it and the contractions don't bother me at all, but once my water is broken then things start moving. I found out later after Kyndra was born that I was in active labor for 5 hours with Kyndra but I had been on Pit all day. It was pretty much the same with Carleigh too. I'm like Lynnette when in labor because I'm quiet too. I do a lot of deep breathing. With both girls I got epidurals. In one way I am glad I did because it really helped me to relax and to dilate quicker but in another way I wish I could've experienced birth naturally with them. Perhaps some day?
I didn't feel a thing once I got an epidural with Kyndra. I didn't even know when I was contracting so they had to tell me when it was time to push. I ended up needing an episiotomy and the vacuum to get her out quicker because of her heart rate. My epidural with Carleigh was a little different. It only worked on the left side of my body, which was dead weight. I could feel everything on my right side and move that half just fine. I had more freedom to do things with Carleigh's labor because of the outcome. I was able to be unhooked from the monitors and move around freely. If you have experienced labor, what was yours like?
Josiah was born and it was apparent something wasn't right because he was struggling to breathe. He was taken away and it was found that he had a diaphragmatic hernia. It made me think of the people I have encountered whose lives have been touched by CDH. I think of April. Do you know of anyone whose lives have been impacted by CDH (or has your own)?
This experience of Lynnette's is exactly what I fear-having to endure the loss of our baby a second time. I liked Kyle's words. "God won't bring anything into our lives that he doesn't already have planned." And then when talking about the coffee cup, "God will only take his hand off when he is letting something into our lives. He is protecting us." I can't ever imagine God bringing something into my life that would not benefit me in some way. He would never harm me, but Satan certainly would. How do these words spoken by Kyle make you feel?
During our journey with Carleigh I always felt like God was there. I leaned on Him during the tough times. I leaned on others going through the same thing. I never imagined that going through such a rough road would draw me closer to God, but that's exactly what happened. Lynnette read the Psalms to help find comfort and hope. I found a lot of scriptures helpful, but I was able to find more comfort in songs. Many of these songs are ones I hear on KLOVE. During difficult times, where do you find your comfort?
If God had asked my permission, would I have said yes too, like Lynnette? I certainly would!! I know that God knows what's best for my life. I don't always have to like it, but I can trust in Him. Seeing how much of a blessing Carleigh has been in my life makes me glad that I have made this journey. What would you say?
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4 comments:
I think there is always a fear of the unknown with a woman's pregnancy, but that fear has to be 10 folds when you have experienced a loss first hand. I know your next pregnancy will be a difficult one because of that, but I also know that you are strong and fast in the Lord and you've proved to overcome it before, you would do it again!
I also had the epidural. Personally, I would think i would be so consumed in pain to even enjoy the birthing moments of that baby being laid on my tummy. I say that now, but who knows really how I would be - but i don't plan on NOT having the epidural at all :)
KLOVE is a great station! I have made a few christian cds for my car, and always have Music Choice on tv during the day (great background music). I also find comfort in words of song - there is a mood and emotion that can be felt a little stronger than reading it (for me at least).
I know it would be easy for me to say I would walk your road if I had the choice - because I haven't felt that pain of losing my baby. But I am so touched that you, as well, agree to take the same path if you were given a choice whether to carry Carleigh or not.
I had my last two kids 17 months apart and it was hard when they were very little, so I can see where Lynnette was upset about being pregnant again. The more I hear people's birthing/labor stories the gladder I am that I didn't go through that! I guess with a c-section you have pain AFTER the baby comes. ~Debbie
I chose to have my daughter naturally with no drugs and it was AMAZING! We had a waterbirth which made it easier for both the baby and I. I'm annoyed with the media's depiction of horrible birth stories--it doesn't have to be that way, and I think that many women go into labor scared because of what they think it's going to be like.
The key to a good natural birth is preparation. I used Hypnobirthing as well as other things for relaxation while in labor (Bible readings, music, dim lights, etc.). Our birthing experience was so peaceful as a result that my daughter stayed awake and alert for 2 hours afterward, had no trouble nursing (the epidural medicine often causes latch problems), and I was able to catch her myself and bring her up to me when she came out (I have our birthing story and more info on my blog if you're interested).
At the same time, some women don't have the option of a natural birth and shouldn't be made to feel badly about that. Any way you do it, I think the important thing is to embrace the beauty and amazingness of such an event.
Thank you for being honest and an encouragement in your blog! I just came across it and it has really ministered to me. THANK YOU!
Blessings and love,
Rachel
I haven't ever experienced labor! The closest I came was with my second baby, Owen. I had lots of contractions, some pretty strong, in the days leading up to his birth. I have had c-sections for all 4 of my babies.
I had never heard of CDH. It's so sad-it just seems like it should be fixable!
I love the words Kyle spoke. I love the image it gives me in my mind! And the truth of it! Who doesn't need to be reminded that the Lord is in control? Awesome.
I read Psalm 34 a lot! I also read Job when I am going through difficult times-big or smaller. I love it and the ways God reveals Himself to Job. I love worship music, also!
I would say a million times yes! to having Haven. He was worth every minute of pain and sorrow. I am so glad God chose us to be his family. It is an honor we have never taken lightly!!
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