Monday, March 30, 2009

Dressing Carleigh

Anthony and I went to the funeral home this morning to finish going over a few things with Brian and so that I could dress Carleigh in her burial outfit. We looked over the obituary and memorial card to make sure everything was ok. We also looked at the rough draft of what will be on Carleigh's marker and it looked good. Anthony's dad and brother weren't there yet so we took some time and just held Carleigh. She was very cold from the embalming fluid and her nose kept running so we had to keep tissues handy to wipe her little nose. They had her in her casket and she looked so tiny in it. It made me tear up just seeing her in there. I was so glad to see her because I missed her very much. We left her with her fuzzy pink blanket so we held her in that so we wouldn't have to feel her so cold.

Once his dad and brother arrived we got everything ready to change her clothes. I took my time changing her because I wanted to savor being with my daughter. Her outfit looks very adorable on her. A little big but it still looks good. I put her jewelry on her too. After she was all dressed I put her back in her casket and covered her up with the blanket Anthony's grandma made. I made sure I gave her lots of kisses before we left.




40 comments:

Mrs Banjo said...

she looks just liek a little doll . she is so beautiful.

Rayni *remmismommy **Cm***

Sherry said...

Oh God bless you Holly! You are so strong. She looks beautiful. Just rest assured that she is with Jesus playing and sitting in His lap smiling at you and her daddy. Your story makes me cry everytime I check your page. I wish I had more encouragement. I am just praying for you. God will bless you and reward you in heaven.

Sarah (Lovemy918-CM) said...

Oh Holly, I can't keep from holding back tears... You are a remarkable woman. Carleigh is Precious! just as you described. We're praying for you

stitchndeb said...

I'm glad they let you dress her. The outfit looks adorable on her! I'm here always praying for you. Love, Debbie

The Balduccis said...

Oh Holly you are so strong:) I really dont know how you keep yourself together like you do. Everytime I read your page I cry. She looks so amazing and I am so glad you are able to have alot of time with her. She has the best mommy and daddy in the whole world.

God is very proud of you!

Anonymous said...

I honestly wish I knew what to say. I have been following your story on cafemom and have prayed for you and your family since you first posted about Carleigh and you decision not to terminate. You are the most amazing mother I have known. You unselfishly gave yourself to your daughter. She is lucky to have you as her mother. I have been praying for you and your family non-stop since Friday morning as well as breaking down in tears since then. I will continue to pray for all of you. Carleigh is a beautiful baby girl.

Anonymous said...

she does look like a little dolly. keep holding to your faith holly. your doing great. can i just say that you look rocking considering what you are going through.

keep strong.

love, lovinmyseabee.

Anonymous said...

AAWW! She looks beautiful! Just know you will hold her again in heaven...
MOMBUG from cafemom

Brooks said...

I'm so glad you had your time with her.

Alissa said...

I am so heart broken, wishing you never had to do this or say good bye to her. She looks like a perfect angel in her little white dress and pink blanket. Hugs to you, Anthony and your family. Know you are not alone is this- the world is in heart-brake with you Holly and we all love you and the angel you shared with us all.

Betty said...

Your daughter is beautiful! I cant fathom how hard today was for you...cripe, the whole ordeal for that matter. But you understand what I mean. You very calm and collected in all the pictures. If it were me I would have been a blubbering fool in them all. I admire your strength so much, Holly! You are in our thoughts and most importantly in our prayers!

Sailor and Co said...

Thank you so much for sharing this with us...you are an amazing mommy.

The Woollard Family said...

I'm not sure how you do it, how you are able to keep us all updated. I cry everytime I read your updates and have a hard time leaving a comment. I can't believe how unbelievably strong you are!! Carleigh looks absolutely gorgeous in her dress.

♥Heather (Mom2BaileyAlyse)

Anonymous said...

Holly and Anthony,
What a precious baby girl you have. God has amazing plans for her. She is truly a special gift. I am so glad you were able to dress her and hold her. God not only has plans for her in heaven, but he has given you a special path to take now. Together you and her will be able support and educate others on pregnancies and births like yours. She will ALWAYS be with you on your journey on earth. ALL of my LOVE and PRAYERS to you and your family.
Tiffany Saltzman

ssilykids said...

I saw one of your journals on CM. I did not read your story until Thursday, I just want to tell you that I added you and your family to our prayer chain. I don't know you, but I can say that both of your little girls are extremely lucky to have you for a mommy. Your strength through such tragedy overwhelms me. God bless you, your husband and your angel on earth and the little one in heaven.

Emily said...

She is beautiful, like a little doll. She is so lucky to have you and Anthony as her earthly parents. Still praying for you!

Emily, Daniel and Lydia Grace Johnson (Emmy_Dollface)

Anonymous said...

She does look absolutely beautiful. I love her burial dress. It is so pretty. I have been trying to think of the right words to write to you since I read your previous post, but all I can say is that there are no words in this situation. You were given a beautiful angel to care for the past 9 months and you have done the best you could as her mother. You have such strength and faith and I am amazed by it. I cannot believe how composed you look in all the pictures. I don't think I could do what you have done. You were definitely well-chosen by God to be Carleigh's mother.

Dawn (bakersd79 from CM)

Anonymous said...

Your streingth gives me hope I cant even imagine what you are going thru She looks abslutely Beautiful Im glad you and Anthony got to spend more time with her Bless you and your family

The McDaniel's said...

Holly like the other people have said, you are so strong. Your strength and courage are inspiring. I cry everytime I read this because I know that she is special and mostly because I admire you and Anthony. Carleigh is lucky to have two loving parents and ya'll are blessed to have such an angel! God Bless you Holly! Lots of love!

Adrienne said...

You are such a strong woman! Even though it doesn't make this easier, just remind yourself that she is with Jesus now, in no pain and in his arms. May God bless you and your family.

Seraphim said...

Your baby is beautiful. I am in awe of your courage and will keep you and your family in my prayers xxxx

Kat (DrusMom) said...

She is absolutely the most adorable little girl! I can see how you love her so much. Thank you for posting the pictures. She really is sooooo beautiful.

Rebecca said...

There isn't anything I can say that will bring you the comfort you so richly deserve. I am grateful for your courage and for your willingness to share Carleigh with all of us. When the time comes and you are called home, she will be waiting. And that place that was made in your arms just for her, will filled. You and yours are in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

God bless you all!

Amber said...

Holly and Anthony Thank you for sharing Carleigh with the world!She is one special Angel and your strength amazes me!

just jamie said...

Thank you for sharing your sweet angel with us. May God hold her tightly, and send blessings to you both.

Debbie said...

You have amazing strength! I am so touched with the grace and sensitivity you show by taking in those precious moments and following your heart. You are doing a great job and I know that Heavenly Father has endless blessings in store for you. Thank you for sharing your strength with me. I was so touched!

The G Fam said...

What an adorable little outfit! She looks so peaceful. I loved dressing our two precious babies. It may seem weird or creepy to others, but there is such a sweet peace and it was such a spiritual experience. Stay strong, and know there are so many praying for you!
Heart hugs,
Emily

Hollie said...

Holly, the strenght you have shown throughout these past few days is so amazing! You look so calm in the pictures, when you should be a reck, it really just proves that God choose you to be Carleigh's mom for so many reasons. It is so kind of you to share her story with everyone, and allow everyone to be inspired by you. I will continue praying for you everyday and hope that you are able to find peace with the plan God has for you and your family. She is beautiful, just like a porcalin doll. You should be so proud, what a great mom you are!

colee04 said...

Holly, You and your family are in our thoughts amd prayers daily. She looks like a precious babydoll. Thanks for sharing her with us. Your strength is remarkable, and inspirational. Keep your strong faith and God will walk you guys through this. If you need anything please don't hesitate to ask. You are a wonderful mom, you should be soo proud of yourself! ~Nicole~

Anonymous said...

Holly I wish I lived closer so I could be there for you more. But remember that I am there in thoughts and prayers. You are going through a remarkable journey and I admire your strength through all of this. I look at some of the heartache in my life right now and realize that it doesn't compare to this. You are so strong and you have a beautiful baby girl! She is here because you had faith in God. Your journey has been so inspiring and I think about you, Anthony, Kyndra, and Hannah alot!! I will see you soon!!!

croleyc69 said...

Holly & Anthony , She looks so beautiful. So glad she has great parents like you both. Just know that someday you will get to all be together again as a family. Keep strong & God will be always be there for you all. Thanx for sharing her w/ all of us. I don't know if it were me I would have handled things so well. Praying for you all. HUGS Caroline - Cafemom- ccmom69

Anonymous said...

I don't have the right words... and I am still in silence just by looking at your beautiful pictures and reading your blog. I may not know you personally but you and your precious angel have truley touched my heart. You are all in my prayers and thoughts.
-cm-(masons.mom.6.16)

The Martin Family said...

Carleigh is just so beautiful Holly. It is so hard to find the words to say to you through all of this. You are an amazingly strong woman and I truely admire you for that. May God be with you and your family.

Mindy said...

Oh holly she is just gorgeous! I love the outfit you picked for her. I can't imagine what you are going through right now.

Kate Harrison said...

Holly, I have been following your blog since the beginning and I have been praying for you and your family. I wanted to share with you what God has laid on my heart. I opened my Bible today and for some reason it was on Isaiah 66. In that chapter verse 13 it says "As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you". I couldn't help but think of you and Carleigh. I imagined God holding you in his arms like you are holding Carleigh in this picture. I prayed that he would comfort you as you have coforted her. I beleive that God is already comforthing Carleigh. We don't have to worry about that. She is nice and cozy warm in his arms. I just hope that you know God will bring you comfort and peace. Your story has touched my heart and has helped me become more faithful in the Lord. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

It is such a remarkablething to see how your strength and faith in what you think and do help so many people. I know God has put you and Anthony in this place and time in your lives to help others through the life of Carleigh. Your story reaches so many. I do cry every time I see her and I see you with her. I am glad and proud of you for what you chose to do for Carleigh and yourself. Praise God for you and the love you show others. He has a plan for you and I think your doing and there is more to come he will show you and guide you through it. Keep the faith. She is so beautiful . Love you all.

Aunt NAncy

Shoemaker Family said...

Praying today for your strength.

Anonymous said...

I can't find the words to comfort you at this time, but know that I am always here for you. I love you so much, and Anthony too! I sometimes struggle myself with the thought of her not being here with us so we can spoil her crazy. What a lucky little girl to have such wonderful parents to give her the life she so very much deserved. I'm sure God is very proud of you for taking care of Carleigh and doing the best for her while on Earth. I can't wait for the day to finally hold her again and kiss her tiny cheeks. What a day that will be!! Your story has been such an inspiration to so many people, probably more than you realize. What a legacy!! XOXO~Katrina

Emily James said...

I have been thinking about you since I went to bed Thursday night. I even asked my nurses and doctors to pray with me before my surgery. We prayed for baby Carleigh and your family. The nurses said that I was crying when I woke up and they asked if I was in pain. I told them that I didn't want to miss the pictures of Carleigh! Nick said all I did was talk about you all the whole time I was recovering from the anesthesia! I still haven't gotten you all off my mind. It warms my heart that you were able to use the blanket I made for Carleigh. She is a beautiful angel and I know she is having a great time in heaven. She had already touched so many lives before she even made it here.

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