OB Appointment #10

I had an ob appointment today. My BP was 100/68 and my weight was 121 lbs. I took my release forms for the Duke study so that they could send my medical records to Duke. They also faxed the release form to the maternal fetal specialist I went and saw. I'm glad they were able to do that for me or else it would've been a big hassle! Carleigh's heart rate was good at 132 bpm. The bad news is I am still measuring small and I have fallen even further behind. Today at 33 1/2 weeks I am measuring 28.5 cm, which is 5 weeks behind. Dr. F offered an ultrasound if I wanted it now but I said no. At the time though I had added or subtracted (or whatever) wrong and thought I was only 3 weeks behind so I thought I was doing better so that's why I declined it. It wasn't until later today that I actually realized I was 5 weeks and not 3 weeks behind. I wish I would've took the ultrasound now. She does plan on getting one more at least so that is good. I have an appointment next Thursday so maybe we'll schedule it then.

We talked a little about delivery but not a lot. I've decided that I'm going to go ahead with a vaginal delivery. I know Anthony would rather I had a vaginal because he's worried something might happen to me with a c-section. Granted, it's not very likely but he still worries. A c-section would be less trauma on Carleigh's head but how much is really the question. I don't know how less traumatic it would be and there are no guarantees that with a c-section that she will live longer. It could help but then again it might not matter. Recovery for me with a vaginal would definitely be easier. It's a hard decision to make. There are pros and cons to both. With a vaginal I'd be able to have her in my arms immediately but I probably could with a c-section too given the circumstances. I know I'm more comfortable with having a vaginal delivery because I know what to expect since I've been through it before. The way I see it no matter what I choose I could always look back and say I wish I would've chose the other for one reason or another. If she ends up not living very long and I get a c-section I'll probably wish I would've had a vaginal so I could really hold her close and have her immediately. If I have a vaginal and she ends up not living long I'll wonder if a c-section could've prolonged her life. No matter what I'll always wonder if I made the right decision. For now though, my choice is a vaginal. Let's hope I don't regret it too much.

Tonight I need to update my birth plan to include the Duke study. Tomorrow I'm going to give Kathy, the manager of Mother Baby Care, a copy for the floor to have. I asked her today if they had received one yet and they hadn't. Updated copies will have to go to Dr. F and Dr. Z too. I'm also going to go over everything I have written down already and make sure it is something I still want. I believe a few things have changed.