Monday, March 16, 2009

Instead of complaining, be thankful!!!

There are so many things in our lives to be thankful for. Why don't we take the time to appreciate that which we have been given? Instead so many tend to focus on and complain about the things that we don't like or seem to go wrong. You can bet if you look hard enough you can always find something to complain about. Why do that? Why not focus instead on all the blessings?

Take pregnancy, for instance. There can be quite a bit to complain about since there are so many changes going on with a woman's body. I belong to a due date group for Carleigh and you can hear quite a few complaints in the group. Everyone is getting closer to their due dates and getting more and more uncomfortable and miserable. Everyone's pretty much ready for their baby to come out already! I'm not trying to put anyone down by any means! I did my fair share of complaining with Kyndra and with Carleigh. However, the things that seemed so "bad" suddenly seemed so insignificant when we found out about Carleigh's anencephaly. Give me the terrible heartburn if my daughter could be healed. Give me all your stretch marks-just let my baby live. Give me all your aches and pains and contractions. I will gladly take it all if only I could spend just a day, a week, a month with my child safe in my arms. My perspective has totally changed-not with just my pregnancy but with many things in life. I've taken a lot of things for granted, believe me, but Carleigh has changed that quite a bit. I look at Kyndra in a whole new light. She is a precious gem and I actually cherish her more than before if that is possible! Life is so precious and fragile and we never know when it will be taken away from us.

It's not just pregnancy I look at differently-it's life itself and everything in and about it. I have been forever changed by this experience and I will never be who I once was before this journey. I believe I am a better and stronger person. My faith has been tested yet I have not wavered.

I have been blessed with a very special daughter. I was hand-picked by God to carry this child and only He knows the reason why. Why me? Is it because He knew I would accept her despite her anomaly and regardless of whatever anyone else thought or said? Is it because He knew I would love her unconditionally? Perhaps it is all of these and even more.

I try not to think about what the near future holds for us. I try and treasure the moments we currently have with Carleigh but it is hard not to think about. I get so excited over every little thing she does. Her little acrobatics bring me much pleasure. Her hiccups excite me beyond words. When I see her on the ultrasound screen I can't help but smile. I know that at any moment she could be taken away from us and that is something I am not ready for. I want her with me as long as possible-both in my belly and in my arms.

I guess what I really want to say is don't worry so much about things that don't really matter. Be thankful for what God has blessed you with. You truly don't know how good you have it until you're close to losing it all.


Brooks said...

Mmm, humble pie anyone? Saw Denise today, we're both goin to try and be there Saturday. Can't wait!

Stephanie said...

Beautiful post.

Jay and Emily said...

You are such a wonderful inspiration to so many people I believe, including myself. Almost 5 months ago my mom was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and even though it's not the same situation, I can relate to what you are talking about. Instead of being angry or upset, I try to rest and find peace in the arms of God and not take one single second for granted that my mom and I have together. I pray for your entire family in the coming weeks and even months that he would bless you abundantly and you would feel his closeness.


Nicole said...

I feel the same way. I used to worry or get upset about little things, but now I know that they mean very little when you look at the big picture.

I would hear about women complain about not getting any sleep with their newborn & I would think I would love to be up all night with my son! Until you have been there, you really take a lot for granted. That is one of the good things that comes out of all this, you see the good & try to ignore a lot of the little things.

Andi Soergel said...

Amen! I am forever changed because of our Haven William! I now try to look at the big picture and be thankful!
Your prayer shower was the most wonderful idea!! What a blessing. Great Is Thy Faithfulness is one of the songs we played at Haven's memorial service. My husband and I continue to pray for you and follow your blog. Thank you for sharing!
Andi Soergel

Anonymous said...

thank you for posting the pictures sorry my family could be there but you all are in my thought and my prayers. reading your blog has made me feel apart of your preg. thank you

all my love
Erica Kay

Celia said...

Holly, no truer words....Amen!! I feel the same way. Our perspectives are forever changed as a result and we will never be the same. No more taking things for granted or grumbling about things. Instead, we are finding blessings and true beauty where before we wore blinders.
And we were chosen to carry these special babies....That is a blessing as well. God knew when he decided to grant us with these wonderful babies that our faith would only grow as a result and not waiver.

Anonymous said...

And the student becomes the teacher! I love you Holly! ~Dawn

Bethany said...

OH Holly, What a blessing you have been to me. Just to hear you as you go through this trial. I know how hard it is, since I lost my daughter to anen in October 08. But you have such strong faith and you inspire me. I too feel how fragile life is and how much more I love and cherise those around me. Thankyou for the reminder. :) Praying for you!
Bethany Becker
Claire's mommy 10-1-8

Jenn said...

What a beautiful post, this is all so true!!! Times like this can really make us see how much we have taken advantage of the littlest things. I don't see how all of this could have been said in any better way! Thank you for being such an inspiration.

Jenn (ecila78 from cafemom)

JmCw said...

Holly I just wanted to tell you that you have also opened my eyes. I try my hardest not to complain about things that are so little when you think about what I do have. You are such a wonderful person.

Anonymous said...

Holly, how true it is that we all complain about the little things in life and we take life for granted. Thanks for spilling your thoughts and making me think twice before I react. Life is so precious. You are an inspiration to all mothers!!

Anonymous said...

Hi Holly -

I know you from DS. I have found great strength in reading about your journey with your sweet Carleigh. I too have endured losses, many, but not to the degree of what you are experiencing. But it certainly does put EVERYTHING in a new light. This little boy I'm carrying is a miracle and I find it difficult to complain about any part of it.

You are in incredible woman and I feel lucky to "know" you. Thank you for sharing your precious journey with us.

Melisa said...

I am so touched by your story and your strength. I agree that we forget just how precious it all is until we are close to losing it all. I almost lost my lo when he was born at 30 weeks and suddenly everything that seemed so "important" was no longer and we cherished moments. You and your family are in my heart.

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