Thursday, July 16, 2009

My first dream of Carleigh

Last night I had a dream about Carleigh. It's my first dream ever of her. It was such a great dream that I feel blessed to have been given it. It felt so real.

I don't remember how the dream started out but I was in the hospital in labor and soon to give birth to Carleigh. It wasn't a hard labor as I didn't seem to be in any kind of real discomfort. Anthony was there hanging out while I did my thing. The next part of the dream skipped over the delivery. In that next moment I was being handed my daughter. She was swaddled in a blanket. They had told me that she was already gone.

Carleigh was so beautiful. She was even more beautiful in my dream. Her head was not open at all but totally closed. She had skin and lots of hair on top of her head. She still had anencephaly but you couldn't really tell. I couldn't believe at that moment she was gone because she looked so alive.

The doctor came to exam Carleigh so he took her away for a little bit. When he came back he was smiling and he said that she was still alive. He handed her to me and I could see that she was! She had her eyes open and she was just looking at me. She moved her arms and legs around and made little newborn noises. My mom, dad, and sister were there and they each took turns holding her. Sometimes it looked like she was struggling a little bit and each time I would take her back-afraid that it was the end, but she held on.

I was holding her and she was still alive when I woke up so I never got to see how the dream ended. Upon waking, I could still feel the abundant love from my dream. The first thing I thought when I woke up was "Wow, that was amazing." Amazing, indeed.

15 comments:

Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace said...

That is amazing! What a gift!

Christina said...

I was getting goosebumps reading that. I love dreams & believe sometimes they are trying to tell us something.

Betty said...

LOVE those dreams. They are such amazing gifts from God to keep us going.

Kate said...

That is awesome! I still remember my first dream about Andy, same thing, I said in it "I thought you were dead." And he was like "nope, I am right here." I still remember everything about it and that was 10 years ago. I am so happy for you!

stitchndeb said...

Wow, a good dream! I pretty much only remember my bad ones. That's great how you woke up with such a blessed feeling about it. ~Debbie

April said...

How absolutely wonderful that are granted such realistic, meaningful dreams. I know how much wanted to hold her when she was alive, and this may have Carleigh's way of giving that to you.

HappyascanB said...

What a beautiful gift God gave you last night!

croleyc69 said...

Thanx for sharing that & what a neat dream.
Caroline

Mary Ellen said...

Oh what a beautiful gift that dream is! Thank you so sharing it with us

Mom Putnam said...

so glad you had a wonderful dream of your little girl and that it helps you heal, honey. God willing may he send more of those to you to help you along the way. I Love you-oxoxo Mom

Just Breathe said...

What a beautiful dream. I wish I could make it your reality.
Take care & God Bless.

MommyIvy said...

What a wonderful dream Holly. I believe God is giving us gifts through our dreams. I have been having a tons of dreams lately about being pregnant again.

Michal Ann said...

Holly, you are such a special lady! I always see your loving comments on other mommy's blogs. You have an amazing place in their lives and you always encourage.

I'm so happy that you had such a beautiful dream of your lovely little daughter. God did a lot of "dream work" in the Bible.

In Christ's love, Michal

Emily said...

Beautiful, Holly. I'll bet that dream was sent to give you peace - it sounds like you got it, too.

I love how the "normal" people look at us as if we're cursed, when we couldn't feel more blessed. :)

Loving you...

kathers said...

im sorry for your loss but i just noticed that Carleigh and my daughter have the same bithday! My Annabelle is two years older though.....

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