Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Birthday Invitation and the upcoming day

Thanks Danielle for sharing Wyatt's invitation and inspiring me to make one too. I've just been so busy in planning everything else for Carleigh's party that I didn't even think to make an invitation. You'd think that'd be an obvious one. I am managing to get quite a bit done for her party but it's taken a lot of work so I haven't had time for much else. I haven't even gotten the sleep that I should. Hoping to catch up this weekend on that.

So, I have sent some invitations out and ordered all the balloons. Things yet to work on are the tables, the cake, a possible slideshow, and food menu. And of course all the little things to help pull it all together. I'm hoping to have the guest list finalized a week before the party. Right now I am planning for 75. I'd rather plan for too many than not enough. I can always eat any possible leftover food later.

I did just finish a photobook from kimsbookshelf.com that I wanted to get done for Carleigh's party. This book took me a lot of time to complete but I finally did it and it turned out great! I'm not sure why but I never put my maternity photos, Carleigh's 3D ultrasound, and our NILMDTS photos in Carleigh's albums. So I put all of these pictures in the album I created. Thank you Kim for setting me up with a trial for the site and sending me my wonderful photobook for free! I can't wait to see it in person. I should get it very soon.

I've gotten almost all my giveaways in line for Carleigh's birthday. I still have a few more to get around. I'll be doing these the week leading up to her birthday so keep an eye open for those!

Emotionally, I guess I am doing as well as can be leading up to her birthday. I have no doubt there's gonna be some tough times. I'm already having those moments. It's mostly my own fault by listening to SCC's Beauty Will Rise every single day on the way to and from work and every other time I'm in our van. There's this few lines in one of his songs that just get me every time and make me think of the exact moment that Carleigh left us. We don't know when it was for sure but I can't help but think of it when I hear these words....

God only knows
Everything that happened in that moment
God only knows
What He whispered to her heart
God only knows
Just how thankful I will always be
That he gave her mom and me
February 20th


Of course, the last line for me is March 28th instead of February 20th. I cry and sometimes sob when I hear these words because I have no doubt that the moment she left was so beautiful for her even though painful for us. What exactly happened? What did God say to her? I won't ever know these things in my lifetime but I can be assured that His glory was present and it was magnificent. These words of the song affect me so greatly that I put them at the end of her photobook (and changed just a few of the words to fit). I, for one, am thankful that SCC decided to create this album. He gets it and he captures it perfectly for me.

Right now, I'm ready for the grief to come and I welcome it with open arms. It is needed for such an important date coming up. Perhaps things will go better than I imagine and maybe they won't. Regardless of how it is, God will carry me through to the other side.

I think that we will finally watch the videos we took that day. I have only glimpsed a little bit of one. The thing I remember most about it is the eerie silence in the room. It was so quiet, so unnatural. But I know that at that time there was nothing unnatural about it for me. It didn't seem quiet when I was there. I don't think I would've noticed whether it was really loud instead. I was just so focused on her. Gosh, so many memories and I want to remember them all. Makes me glad that I posted during that time and wrote things down.

So, 19 days to go.....

I think I'm ready for this.

Maybe.

26 comments:

Rikki said...

The invitation is so beautiful. Her party sounds like it is going to be perfect.
Xxx

AKD said...

Carleigh's party sounds like it is just going to be amazing - the invitation is gorgeous, and it sounds like you've thought of everything. I'm thinking of you as you go through this time, Holly, and always.

Jus and Kat said...

Hugs Holly,

Carleigh's first birthday in Heaven is a huge milestone, and your strenghth in all this never ceases to amaze me!

Kat @ In Dylan's Memory

tomandcheryl said...

I can't wait to hear all about the party. It sounds wonderful and like a wonderfully beautiful way to remember your daughter who was perfect in every way. Goodluck with the rest of the planning.
BTW, you look so cute with your little belly on the other blog.
~Cheryl

Christy said...

The invitation is wonderful. Sounds like you are putting a lot of yourself into this party. Carliegh is such a lucky girl to have you for her mama. Thinking of you,
christy

Ruth said...

Bon courage! That is a lovely idea to have a birthday party.

Somethings Gotta Give said...

The Birthday Invite is simply precious!! I cannot wait to hear all about the party and your fun giveaways. Keep trusting in the Lord to lead your path. Have a blessed week.

croleyc69 said...

The invitation is so fitting. I love it and I'm sure the party is going to be a hit. I'm thinking of you so much , always. Wishing we could be here but we are releasing balloons and the kids are excited. Marie is even coloring a picture to put on her balloon. {{HUGS}}
Caroline

Jess said...

Thinking of you as you prepare for Carleigh's birthday. I love the invitation, and it sounds like you have planned a really special time. I pray everything goes well with the rest of the planning, and that God is very near to you in the upcoming weeks!

MommyIvy said...

Hugs Holly. I can't believe it been a year already. I can't wait to hear all about the party. Wish I lived close and could be there. I will be releasing a balloon though.

The Ramirez Family said...

You are amazing! She is one lucky little girl to have you for a mom. I am thinking about you.

(((HUGS)))

Lisette said...

I love the invitation. Holly, your strength motivates me, seriously! I will be releasing my balloon for Carleight that day, I can't wait to send you the pictures. Her party sounds wonderful. It is such a beautiful way to remember and honor your sweet baby girl. Sending you ((hugs)) take care and GOd bless.

Jill said...

I love the invitation! You must be busy planning for 75 people. It will be a special day for Carleigh and I will be releasing a balloon for her. xx

Just Breathe said...

The invitation is lovely. Sounds like you have everything in order for her big day. God Bless.

Jennifer Bovee said...

Praying for you as you prepare to celebrate this very special (although difficult) day. May you have PEACE and JOY in your heart!!!
{{{HUGS}}}}
Jenn B.

Heather said...

I love the invitation, and her party just sounds wonderful.

I also love that SCC album too. It's just perfect for people who have lost a child.

Thinking of you, my friend.

Mary said...

I am praying over that day, Holly! I wish I could join you!

And let me tell you, that SCC album hits me too. I am grateful he was so authentic in his pain.

Anonymous said...

Lovely invitation, Holly, for your shining star Carleigh's birthday. The party sounds like it will be very memorable. I know the Lord will carry you that day.
Blessings, Sarita

Jennifer Ross said...

I wish that we lived closer to each other. I sure would love to celebrate her birthday together with you all. When you come up my way, we should do something special together for Isaiah and Carleigh:)

I'm going to light a candle for her on her birthday, and thinking and praying for you and your family.

Love to you Holly....

Lori said...

Continued prayers for you as you go down these next few weeks....I haven't been able to listen to SCC's CD yet....one song at a time, is all I can do and I'm still working my way through Heaven is the Face.

Once A Mother said...

keeping you in my thoughts for a beatiful celebration on Carleigh's day. I know she can feel her momma's love.

rita said...

I found your blog today and have read a bit of the early story. I have to tell you what an amazing woman you are, Holly. You are the true definition of "grace under fire".

Much love to you and your family.

Marie

Mary said...

Everything sounds like it is going to be an amazing day. Looking forward to hearing how you beautifully honored your precious little girl.

Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

It's going to be such a beautiful celebration of your sweet Carleigh, Holly....I'm so glad you're doing this! Love the invitation!

Nicole said...

Bless you. I love the way you said "Bring on the grief and sadness... I think Im ready. Maybe." I know there must be so many different conflicting emotions involved in this special time.
This is a huge milestone for Carleigh, you, and your family. Celebrate it, and grieve it as well.

Hannah Rose said...

love the invitation you used...also, wanted to tell you my aunt got me the beauty will rise cd for mother's day. wow. amazing. I know exactly what line you are talking about in February 20th. I listen to beauty will rise the song every time i'm in the car and i sing along. sometimes, it makes me cry hysterically. the whole cd is great though! :)

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