Happy Birthday September Babies

I just wanted to wish a Happy Birthday/Angel Day to all the September babies. Sorry if I have left anyone out and if I have please leave a comment so that I may add your baby to the list.

Connor ~ September 1, 2006
Shyla ~ September 2, 2009
Peyton ~ September 4, 2009
Samantha ~ September 5, 2008
Tiffany ~ September 4, 2009
Morgan ~ September 8, 2008
Audrey ~ September 10, 2009
Baby E ~ September 11, 2008
Ethan & Jacob ~ September 13, 2009
Andrew ~ September 15, 2003
Layla ~ September 15, 2008
Trinadee ~ September 15, 2009
Evel ~ September 18, 2009
Hannah ~ September 21, 2009
Lucy ~ September 24, 2009
Tristan ~ September 27, 2009
Ciaran ~ September 30, 2009

And I wasn't able to release any balloons this month. :( So I lit a candle instead to remember all the babies but then forgot to take a picture of it. Go figure.

Happy Birthday to all your special babies!!

18 months

Carleigh,

Today it has been 18 months since you were born. I can hardly believe it's been that long. I try to imagine what you would be like at 18 months old but my mind just can't grasp it. I find it hard to picture you as anything but a baby. Now that your little sister is here I remember what it was like to hold you. You were so small. I can imagine what it would be like again to hold your baby hands and to touch your baby feet and to feel the weight of you in my arms. I miss that. I miss you. Every day we get farther and farther from that time. We have our memories but even those won't be as clear as they are today or as they were yesterday. Thank goodness we have pictures to help us remember.

Daddy and I aren't as heavy in our grief as in the beginning and for that we are thankful. We don't want to stay there forever. We're moving forward with you in our hearts. And I think we'll always have a glimpse of you in your sisters. But there are still moments I cry for you. They are moments when I'm by myself with my thoughts or when I hear a song that tugs at my heart and makes me think of you. I am happy though even among those moments.

How can there be so much I want to say but can't find the words to say it? Maybe you know already and there's no need for words. I hope so.

I love you always my sweet girl.

Love, Mommy

Meeting big sister

On Sunday after church Anthony and I took Lainey out to the cemetery to “meet” her big sister Carleigh. We didn’t stay long because it was a little windy but it was a nice visit.

Even though we have been blessed with another wonderful girl we still miss the little girl that never got to come home.

We love you, Carleigh. ♥

Carleigh's little sister

We are happy to say that Carleigh's little sister, Lainey Iris, has arrived! We are so glad she is finally here. She definitely has the cheeks like her big sisters Kyndra and Carleigh. Hopefully we will get to take her on Sunday to see her sister Carleigh (weather permitting).

Thank you to everyone for your love, support, and prayers!!

Changing seasons

I'm linking up with Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope for their monthly writing challenge. This is September's: How has the changing of seasons (from summer to fall) impacted you in your grief journey?

Last year the changing of the seasons was kind of a turning point for me. In September of 2009 it had been 6 months since Carleigh's birth and I was feeling pretty low but then things started to get better after that month. Sure, there were still times when it was difficult but I began to feel like we were really gonna get through this and be ok. I started to realize some of the things that triggered me and I worked on getting better at dealing with those things.

This year I feel a new turning point with the approaching birth of our rainbow baby. A new time of joy that we are looking forward to very much.

The actual changing of the season really has no impact on me at all. I don't really see Autumn as a season of things dying. There's so much beauty in the season and I like to focus on that. All the sights and smells make me remember happy times more than anything. Of course, I've always been a half glass full kinda gal even when times are tough.

Happy Grandparent's Day

Happy Grandparent's Day to Nana, Grandma, Papa, & DoDo.....who love and miss their granddaughter very much. Thank you for being both wonderful parents and grandparents.

Photos

Thank you everyone for the lovely pics!

Written by Kari in Lake Dillon, CO.


Created by Emalee

A balloon released for Carleigh by Susan.

Written by Jennifer at Prince Edward Island, Canada

Created by Emily (Leila's mommy)