My thoughts on anencephaly

According to the scientific/medical community babies with anencephaly are blind, deaf, unconscious, and unable to feel pain. They believe that breathing and responses to touch and sound are just reflexes. Don't assume that this is what I think also. I don't believe that babies with anencephaly can't see or hear. I don't believe that they are totally unaware. I do think they can feel pain. I don't believe that when they move in response to touch or sound that it is just a reflex. The word anencephaly itself means "no brain". This is really a false statement as many anencephalic babies have some sort of brain tissue present. There is so much that is unknown about anencephaly. I think most of what is known about these babies are just "best guesses". The human brain is an amazing thing. There are people who are missing half of their brain but are still able to function. Why? Because the rest of the brain takes over the functions of the brain that is missing. So why can't this be possible for babies with anencephaly?

It is a fact that most babies that are diagnosed with anencephaly are ultimately terminated-around 95%. The thought of this is just so unbearable. Are the lives of these babies worth any less than a baby who is "normal"? The question of terminating never even entered my mind when we found out about Carleigh. Why would I choose to end the life of someone I love very much? I wonder how many parents are pressured into ending their babies' lives when it's not what they really want. So many doctors and people think it is best to terminate the pregnancy because of the outcome. Why is it best? Carleigh is no mistake. She is God's plan for me and I faithfully chose to accept His plan. So many others reject God's plan for them. I wonder how many of those families regret their decision to terminate. Out of all the stories I have read and people I have encountered who have carried to term not one of them has ever regretted their decision....NOT ONE!!!! They cherish the brief moments they spend with their baby and wouldn't trade those moments for anything in the world. I'm not judging those who made a different choice than I because I know that no matter what decision is made it is a difficult one. I think it is a decision often made in haste and with no support. I find it so very sad.

Even today babies with anencephaly are thought of as monsters or aliens. (Can you believe that!?) They are far from these things. They are blessings!! Just because they are not "perfect" or "whole" does not mean that they are not beautiful. They are very precious in God's sight and in mine. I wish very much that Carleigh did not have this defect. I wish that God would perform a miracle and heal her. But I also know that God can do great things through Carleigh and through me. I've accepted His gift graciously and without question. How can I not question God? Because I know that He knows better than I. He sees the bigger picture when I can't. I will never get all the answers I want here on earth. So why torment myself with 'what ifs' and 'whys'? All I can do is be the best mommy I can be to Carleigh while she is with us. I won't lie-it hurts. I have my moments when all I want to do is cry. I think any mommy would cry for their child.