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I was on some web page reading about grief and I read where it said one of the physical ways to grieve was by holding a stuffed animal, doll, or even a baby blanket close and sometimes rocking back and forth. Hmmm. Interesting. I totally do this. And most of the time I don't realize it right away.
Usually it is when I have one of Kyndra's blankets and I'm not holding her. I will rock back and forth like I'm rocking a baby. Now I'm not really sure if this is totally due to grief or if it is just a natural reaction of a mommy. When you have a baby in your arms you rock back and forth. At least I do. I don't really notice doing it unless I am holding one of her blankets so maybe it's a subconscious mind connection thing. Blanket=baby.
Anybody else notice doing things like this?
Anybody else notice doing things like this?
22 comments:
now that you mention it... yes! I didn't realize it either...
very interesting. I do rock when i hold baby things, but for me it's just second nature. even if I'm holding a stuffed animal or bottle before I give it to my kids and I'm waiting for them to stop, I tend to sway a little.
i'm happy fur yu Hollyy ; not much longer & yur little one will be here ; i bet yu can't wait too tell yur lil one so much bout Carleigh (:
Very interesting, I do the same thing!!! I can't remember doing this before Sami or not, now you have me thinking. : )
I was given a nice sized bear in the hospital because one of the nurses (a friend of my sister's) read something similar, and thought it would help fill my arms just a little bit....such a sweet gift, and it really did take some of the empty arm feeling away.
I definitely have the "mommy sway" as I call it. It's a natural action that a mommy adopts as playing the role. I think that is why it is so comforting to a mother who is greiving as well - it's a natural response to having a child in your arms :)
As I read this I am holding 5 stuffed animals that my 5 year old son thought I needed to hold to make me more comfortable (he said.) Have been having great difficulty lately and I was about ready to get up and put the animals away. . . maybe i should sit and rock a bit. I do find myself rocking myself often. It also feels good when I'm feeling sick to my stomach.
I sit and rock in the rocking chair allllll the time, with or without a baby or a memento in my arms. And like others said, sometimes I sway back and forth when holding a baby item, and especially when holding a baby. I do think it is a subconscious way of calm and comforting ourselves.
I will see/hear a baby cry and rock. LOL! As if ME ROCKING will SOOTHE the baby? I know... I'm WHACKED!!
I think you should link up about your precious little one to my Awareness Hop!
((HUGS))
My sister was still born at 8 months that was in 97 and my mom still does that.
I do it when I'm holding a bear or other stuffed animal. I even pat and sway a little absentmindedly...
I agree that I'm not sure if it's a grief thing...or a mommy thing. Maybe it could be either one! =)
Yes, I have heard this before...and even done it. Even as a grandma who's grand babies are all growing up, I have fond memories of holding them, swaying back and forth and patting their bottoms to comfort them. So, I think it is a way to bring comfort for those who have lost their precious little ones.
I hug a pillow when I sleep and that is also very comforting.
I do it with the bear that has Adelle's heartbeat in it. I sit in the rocking chair, listen to the heart beat, and rock back and forth holding it tenderly...
I do it. It's a total nurture/mommy thing. But you know what? It's not just for the baby. It completely relaxes me too.
I never had anything that Meredith wore, a blanket that touched her, or even a stuffed toy of hers, so I didn't have that to comfort me.
When Kelly sent me a bear from Sufficient Grace Ministries last year,I did hold it several times and rock in my rocker with it. I remember rocking when I held my rainbow babies to soothe them. I guess it's a mommy thing.
For two straight weeks after Matthew died (save when I had to go back to the doctor for pre-e or church for funeral arrangements or his actual funeral), I sat in a recliner we have with a blanket that mom had made for Matthew's room and held it on my shoulder like I imagined I'd have held him. Family members have told me that I just sat in that chair (couldn't do much with the c-section anyway) and held that blanket and patted it. I still find myself doing that sometimes....interesting what you found about it.
well...actually I did something similar when I was going through Paislee's old baby clothes the other day (the day Kyndra decided she wanted to wear like all 25 headbands..LOL) but I found the first lil sleeper I put on Paislee in the hospital...the first thing I did was smell it and hold it close to my face and I'm sure I did some sort of swaying briefly before realizing. So may just be a mommy reaction or a combination of longing for our lil ones to hold and cuddle.
I have a monkey we got at Ethan's shower that I hold sometimes. I've never really thought much of it before though.
My first Christmas without my son I carried around one of his stuffed frogs because I knew I was going to have moments when I wanted to hold him and well I he wasn't here anymore. It did help.
I know after my first loss which was close to Valentines Day and jennifer was only 2 I used to hold her blanket or special bear. I think it is just a natural thing. I think grief plays a part too.
Caroline
I do this too!!! Whenever I hold a blanket or a stuffed animal I find that I rock/sway back and forth.
I am not sure which it is a grief thing or a mommy thing as I did this before losing Lilly after my first son was born and when I was not holding him. It could be a little of both?
I can't really comment on this as is pertains to the loss of a baby but I can tell you that rocking back and forth is still something I find myself doing just from being a mother.
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