Monday, January 11, 2010

Praising God

Walking With You is an outreach of Sufficient Grace Ministries hosted by Kelly at The Beauty of Sufficient Grace. We are a group of mothers who have lost a baby or child, who gather together each month to share our stories, to encourage, and pray for one another as we walk this path together. Our hope is that you will be comforted when you join us here...and maybe that we can offer some grace for the journey as we look to the Lord for comfort and strength.

For this month's Walking With You we are praising God no matter our circumstances. We can pick an attribute to praise Him for or write something of our own.

If I must say one thing about my whole journey with Carleigh it is that God is faithful. He was with me on the day we received her fatal diagnosis, through the months of waiting, when she was born silent, and He's been with me in these months after. I have felt His strong presence in my life through each of these moments. Although, there have been times in these months after where His presence has felt absent and it's been difficult, but I still know that He was there.

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." Lamentations 3:21-24

That day we received Carleigh's fatal diagnosis is one I will never forget. Partly because it changed our lives forever but also because of the way I felt the presence of God during that time. Among the times I felt so broken and hurt, I also had hope. I knew that we had a difficult road ahead of us but I truly felt that God was assuring me that everything would be ok. It was because of this assurance that I never prayed that Carleigh would be healed. I prayed instead that God's glory would shine through above it all and that she would be born alive. Both of those prayers were answered but only one had the outcome that I prayed for, but God is still good

Looking back on the time of waiting with Carleigh, I am in awe at how God got me through that time with such a positive outlook. I'm sure He took advantage of my naturally positive attitude but there's no doubt it was His hand at work. There's a song that really sums up my time of waiting with Carleigh. I didn't find it until after she was already born but it really speaks to me.

Thank you, Lord, for Your faithfulness and Your mercy. You know exactly what I need without me even asking. How lucky I am to be Your child! You've lifted me up and carried me during difficult times. Thank you for being the calm in the storm.

God carried through her birth and her burial, never leaving my side. He stuck with me in the months after but then the feeling of His presence diminished and I began to struggle. I realized that I couldn't get through this without Him and I sought Him even when I didn't feel Him near. Eventually, I felt Him again. I've learned that it's during the difficult times that my faith grows deeper. It's easy to give lip service when things are going the way you want them, but tough times are a true testament to the genuineness of your faith.

My soul rejoices in your steadfast devotion! Your love is like the wind in the trees. I can feel it all around me. Many things will come and go in my life but You remain constant and true. I will forever praise the goodness of Your name!

Here are a few songs that I've listened to a lot lately that speak to me. Music always has a way of saying things that I can't put into words. I hope you take the time to listen to them. They just might speak to you too.


Franchesca Cox said...

Thank you Holly for this post. I know what you mean about God's presence on those difficult days. I can look back now and see God just being there. He is so faithful. I think it's a true testament to your faith that you are able to say that both your prayers got answered, even though only one had the outcome you'd hoped for. Thanks for sharing.


Jennifer Ross said...

Yes, He is always here! I can feel Him all around me too...always.

Holly, I want to thank you for the beautiful message that you wrote Isaiah. Thank you for remembering him with me.


croleyc69 said...

What a wonderful post Holly. I know when I look back at things when I lost my babies I always could feel never being totally alone. God was always there. I don't know what I would do with out having God in my Life. Thanx for sharing.

Mary said...

He is always faithful to us! In our own lives, and in the hearts of people for thousands of years!

Elizabeth said...

Thank you for sharing this. If it weren't for God in my life I would have never been able to survive all that I have. God is good and His answer to our prayers isn't always what we want. It's what He knows is best. Everything happens in His time. Again, thank you. *hugs*

Anonymous said...

He always has a plan, even when we can't see it.

kcrussellphotography said...

Great post. Wanted you to know I have been praying for you and your friend Trisha for your rainbow babies.

Mary said...

I love that song While I'm waiting. Beautiful!

Emily said...

Thanks for sharing this

Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace said...

Wonderful post, Holly...thank you for sharing so beautifully God's faithfulness as He walked this journey with you, carrying you when necessary. His hand is so evident in Carleigh's story...and the faith He has placed in your heart shines through.

Great is His faithfulness!

Jess said...

Yes, Holly, God is so faithful, even during the saddest, most difficult days of our lives. I too felt His presence so strongly after we learned about Eliana's cord accident, and in the hospital room when she was born. I just love those verses in lamentations, as well as the song While I'm Waiting and just quoted them in my last post! It's so encouraging to see how God can lift each of us up using His word, and the words and songs of others. It's beautiful to see the way God's faithfulness shines in your life through Carleigh's story.

Karen said...


Thanks so much for sharing this post! I too have felt the faithfulness of God as we experienced the loss of Faith. It was not always easy, but I knew he was there and he was going to take care of us!


Karen said...


JJ Heller's song "Your Hands" has become one of my new favorite songs. I really like her style of music, but the words to the song means so much!


Heather said...

Thank you for sharing these songs and for sharing your faith in God with all of us. It is so encouraging to read posts like this.

The song that has been "my" song since the day we got our poor prognosis at the ultrasound is "Praise You in this Storm" by Casting Crowns. Heard it?

Anonymous said...

I agree, it is very easy to give lip service when things are going well. So many say "God is good!" when things are going well, but it means so much more to say "God is good!" when we are struggling and having difficulties.

Angela Donaldson said...

Thank you Holly for this post.

I agree while through tragidy its hard to see God he is there. It took me awhile to find him again after Ethan.

But I know he has been by my side all along

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