Praising God

Walking With You is an outreach of Sufficient Grace Ministries hosted by Kelly at The Beauty of Sufficient Grace. We are a group of mothers who have lost a baby or child, who gather together each month to share our stories, to encourage, and pray for one another as we walk this path together. Our hope is that you will be comforted when you join us here...and maybe that we can offer some grace for the journey as we look to the Lord for comfort and strength.

For this month's Walking With You we are praising God no matter our circumstances. We can pick an attribute to praise Him for or write something of our own.

If I must say one thing about my whole journey with Carleigh it is that God is faithful. He was with me on the day we received her fatal diagnosis, through the months of waiting, when she was born silent, and He's been with me in these months after. I have felt His strong presence in my life through each of these moments. Although, there have been times in these months after where His presence has felt absent and it's been difficult, but I still know that He was there.

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." Lamentations 3:21-24

That day we received Carleigh's fatal diagnosis is one I will never forget. Partly because it changed our lives forever but also because of the way I felt the presence of God during that time. Among the times I felt so broken and hurt, I also had hope. I knew that we had a difficult road ahead of us but I truly felt that God was assuring me that everything would be ok. It was because of this assurance that I never prayed that Carleigh would be healed. I prayed instead that God's glory would shine through above it all and that she would be born alive. Both of those prayers were answered but only one had the outcome that I prayed for, but God is still good

Looking back on the time of waiting with Carleigh, I am in awe at how God got me through that time with such a positive outlook. I'm sure He took advantage of my naturally positive attitude but there's no doubt it was His hand at work. There's a song that really sums up my time of waiting with Carleigh. I didn't find it until after she was already born but it really speaks to me.

Thank you, Lord, for Your faithfulness and Your mercy. You know exactly what I need without me even asking. How lucky I am to be Your child! You've lifted me up and carried me during difficult times. Thank you for being the calm in the storm.

God carried through her birth and her burial, never leaving my side. He stuck with me in the months after but then the feeling of His presence diminished and I began to struggle. I realized that I couldn't get through this without Him and I sought Him even when I didn't feel Him near. Eventually, I felt Him again. I've learned that it's during the difficult times that my faith grows deeper. It's easy to give lip service when things are going the way you want them, but tough times are a true testament to the genuineness of your faith.

My soul rejoices in your steadfast devotion! Your love is like the wind in the trees. I can feel it all around me. Many things will come and go in my life but You remain constant and true. I will forever praise the goodness of Your name!

Here are a few songs that I've listened to a lot lately that speak to me. Music always has a way of saying things that I can't put into words. I hope you take the time to listen to them. They just might speak to you too.