Day 5 ~ Capture Your Grief ~ Memorial

Day 5 of Capture Your Grief has us sharing anything we have had done in memory of our baby.

About 2 months after Carleigh was born I got her tattoo. I got one of her handprints on the back of my right shoulder. It felt right to have a piece of her on me. It was my first tattoo. I haven’t gotten anymore since but I would love to get another memorial tattoo. Also, the one I have needs touched up. The red heart has since faded and is no longer visible. I would like to get it replaced with a purple star. I may even add more to it but I have not decided yet.

I have a small memorial that is set up at the National Memorial for the Unborn in Chattanooga, TN for Jordan. The items placed at the wall below the plaque is the poem that I wrote, a certificate of life, a momma bear holding a baby bear, and a yellow rose. All the items were placed there in October 2008 except the rose, which was placed in February 2012.

Visit to NMU

President’s Day weekend my friend Kelly and I (along with the girls) made a trip to Chattanooga, TN. Anthony and I didn’t get to make a trip down in October like we usually do so one was planned for February. The plan was to visit the National Memorial for the Unborn (NMU) and meet up with some BLMs. We wanted to try and meet up with some hospitals in the area to for Sufficient Grace Ministries but that didn’t end up happening. We also only ended up meeting with one BLM, our friend Cecilia. It was a little disappointing not being able to meet up with more but we certainly enjoyed our time with Cecilia. (Thank you for coming!)

On Saturday morning we went to NMU and met up with Cecilia there. We got there a little before 10 am and the girls certainly enjoyed exploring around.

After Cecilia arrived and some more time outside we all went inside the memorial where the wall of plaques are located. All of my stuff that I left for Jordan is still sitting on the wall and it’s so nice to see it still there. (Eventually they remove items that have been there for a while to make room for new items.) The poem that I wrote is on the left beside Jordan’s certificate of life. On the right of the certificate is the momma and baby bear I left. On this trip I brought a yellow silk rose for Jordan. All of the items sit below Jordan’s plaque on the wall.

There is no doubt when you visit this place that you know it is sacred ground. You can feel it. I knew at some point I’d prolly get a little teary eyed and I was right. It’s hard not too in a place such as this. Every plaque you see on this wall (and there are many more that you don’t see) is a plaque placed for a baby or babies lost to abortion. This is such a healing place for so many who live with such terrible pain.

Of course before we left we had to get some pictures together!!

Kelly and I had hoped to be able to place the brick pavers that we ordered in the garden during our visit but sadly our pavers were not in yet and Katrina, who does work for NMU, wasn’t able to meet up with us that morning to do a tour either due to a family emergency. She said to go ahead and pick the place that we wanted our pavers placed and this is where I selected for mine. Kelly picked spots to the right of mine. The pavers in the garden are for children who are lost to stillbirth and miscarriage.

After our visit to NMU we went to eat lunch at a local Olive Garden. That whole meal was sort of a blur for me and I didn’t get much conversation in with having to tend to the girls, which was a bummer since I would have liked to talk to Cecilia more but we mommas know how that goes!

Kelly and I spent the rest of Saturday in the area and we went out to dinner later that night and then left Sunday morning to come back home.

Overall, the trip was really great and we had a good time. Thanks to Kelly for making the trip with me!

NMU 2010

On Saturday, October 23rd, we visited the National Memorial for the Unborn in Chattanooga, TN. We visited NMU in 2008 and in 2009 and have pretty much decided that it is an annual trip for us. We have a plaque at NMU for Jordan that we placed in 2008.

This year my parents went with us. We had also planned to meet up with some fellow loss families like we did the previous year but it didn't work out this year. Hopefully, next year we will be able to meet up.

Below are just a few pictures from our visit. You can click the links above to see pictures from our previous visits. They had rearranged some things from our last visit and even got a beautiful stained glass window placed. My items that I had put there in 2008 were still there and it was nice to see.

NMU is simply an amazing place. It may not hold a lot of meaning to other people but for me it does. Going to NMU is like going to the cemetery for Carleigh only this is the place I go for Jordan. It is peaceful and the story behind how this place came to be is definitely from God. I got a little teary-eyed a couple times as I thought of Jordan and how much I missed our baby that never got to be. I think the moment that meant the most to me was when my dad came over and hugged me. He didn't say anything but he didn't have to. His embrace said it all.

NMU 2009

This weekend I met up with some wonderful babylost moms. Jenny (mommy to Kayden), Danielle (mommy to Wyatt), Nicole (mommy to Logan), Mary (mommy to Amiee), Mary Ellen (mommy to Grace), and myself came together with our families and had lunch together. I originally planned for Anthony and I to go down and visit the National Memorial for the Unborn and then it turned into so much more.

Before lunch, several of us met up at NMU and spent some time there. Our kids sure enjoyed playing together!!

The items we left at last year's visit, which includes a stuffed animal, a certificate of life, and my poem that I wrote.

Jordan's plaque on the wall.

Anthony, me, and Kyndra standing with Jordan's plaque.

Mary, Dusty, and Jacob

Nicole and Chloe

Here's a couple of videos of the kids playing together at NMU:

After we were done at NMU we went to The Acropolis to eat lunch and meet up with everyone else. I wasn't sure how it was going to go since I hadn't met most of these people except for Josh and Jenny, but I had a good feeling after meeting Mary and Nicole at NMU. Everything flowed when we were all together. There were no awkward moments and it felt like we had always known each other. Our time together went by so fast. It was hard to believe we were there several hours. I wish we would've had more time!

We ate lunch and just talked. We talked about our babies and shared pictures and keepsakes. (I brought my massive scrapbooks. I stayed up until 2 am before coming to Chattanooga to finish it.) We are forever connected by our sweet babies. I was so happy to finally meet these mommies in person and I definitely want to get together again. Danielle has some great pictures on her blog from that day.

Josh and Jenny

Mary Ellen and her son James

Cute little Chloe!

I was also able to visit with a few moms that lived in the area. Sandie and Erica were in the same due date group (April 2009) on Cafemom as me for our babies. It was so nice to meet and visit with them!!

Sandie, me, and Erica

Thank you Danielle, Mary, Nicole, Mary Ellen, Jenny, and families for coming and making it such a wonderful day! I was so glad to meet you all!! And thank you Nicole for the goody bags!! (You can see/read more of the trip here.)