30 weeks

Well, I've hit the big 3-0. No, not age-wise if that is what you were thinking. I've hit 30 weeks into my pregnancy with Carleigh. 30 WEEKS! I actually turned 30 weeks on Friday so I'm more 30 1/2 weeks now. I only have 9 1/2 weeks left until I reach my due date of April 24. It's crazy how time has flown by since Carleigh's diagnosis. Time decided to speed up to take precious time away from my daughter and me. Well, that may not be really true but it sure feels like it.

Reality is really starting to hit. The odds are I'm not going to be able to take my daughter home. I pray often that I am one of those rare cases where my daughter gets to live for months. It's a long-shot but I know God can make anything possible. I would be grateful for even a few days! Kind of a mixed blessing it would be. For one, I would get to spend more time with my daughter but I imagine it would be even harder to let her go. I would give anything so that she wouldn't die. Why does she have to die? It's not fair. I know God never promised us life would be easy or fair but can I stomp my feet and throw a fit anyway? I'm sure no one will hold it against me, not even God.