Lynnette's Book Chapter 15/16 & Week 12 The Secret

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Lynnette shares with us the night before and the night that Anna passed away. Some of this section was shared in the Prologue of the book, so it was already familiar to me. I can only imagine how agonizing of a time this was for her and her family. I think that it was a blessing that they got such a perfect evening with her before she went to be with Jesus.

I'm so glad there were many people there to support them through such a difficult time. I like that the children's friends kept them occupied. I think it is sweet that Anna wrote those little notes. I am sure it is a treasured keepsake!! Planning for your child's memorial isn't easy and I could really relate to Lynnette when she said that she didn't have time to be sad because she was busy working to get everything around. I felt the same way. I wanted everything to be perfect and be a wonderful celebration of her life. I think both Lynnette and I achieved that.

(Next week will be all of part 2 of the book and will be the last one.)

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~~~~~

To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.

There are many people that care for and love me and as long as I have their support then that is what matters. As long as God is on my side nothing can be against me.

Lynnette's Book Chapter 14 & Week 11 The Secret

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Lynnette starts off the chapter by sharing with us how Anna got saved. I enjoy hearing stories of the day a person got saved so I liked reading this part. After Anna accepted Jesus as her Savior she got baptized by her father, Kyle. This reminded me of my own times of becoming saved and being baptized. I first asked Jesus to come into my heart when I was 12 years old. It was at a church summer camp and I remember how moving the experience was. I wasn't baptized until I was in college. I got baptized in my parents' swimming pool. How fitting that it was the very pool I spent so many summers in. The water was a little cold though because it was closer to fall. What were your own experience of being saved/baptized like?

Lynnette began to notice Anna retaining fluid and not being her usual self. They were able to get the fluid down but she wasn't completely back to normal. She would tire easily and didn't do the things she did before, like play outside.

Anna and her family were able to go to Disney World thanks to the Make-A-Wish Foundation. I think this is a great organization that does so many good things for kids and I'm glad they were all able to go and spend that time together as a family doing fun things. I'm sure it was odd for Anna, who wasn't used to being put in the spotlight.

I can certainly understand Lynnette's mind jumping back in forth in thinking Anna getting worse or better. I think that this comes from having suffered losses already and not wanting it to happen again. I don't know how many times I think the worst-case scenario about things, especially with Kyndra. I don't intentionally try to think about those things. My mind just goes there. Have you had times when you jumped between the worst and best of things?

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~~~~~

To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.

I think it is great to think well of yourself but you shouldn't boast it to the world. You shouldn't think so highly of yourself that you come across as arrogant. That just makes people not want to be around you. I think it is a great idea to show it through good deeds rather than loud words. If I am feeling good about myself I should try to help someone else feel better.

Lynnette's book-Chapter 13 & Week 10 The Secret

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This book reading is for In Faithfulness, He Afflicted Me by Lynnette Kraft.

This chapter talked about Anna's need for a heart cath to see if she was ready for a particular heart surgery. After Anna's heart cath, Lynnette and Kyle met with the pediatric cardiologist who told them that he didn't think Anna would do well with the surgery at that time. This doctor was different than ones they had encountered before. He was warm and caring.

Anna was old enough at this point to know what was going on and to voice her own concerns. It had to be hard to hear Anna say that she didn't want to go. As a parent, you know some things are for the best, even if it means a little pain for your child. It's never easy!

I think it is great that Anna was able to do everything other kids did. I found it quite fitting that she was such a social butterfly. I love Lynnette's special memory she shared of Anna. I imagined them sitting and sipping their coffee as they indulged in God's Word. It's a wonderful image. What special memory do you have of a loved one who is no longer here?

My Great Grandma Fessel was quite a character. She smoked her cigarettes and drank her beer and wore flashy clothes and jewelry (some of which I have!). She always wore a wig and would draw a mole on her face. Growing up, we loved to play card games with her. We played a lot of Uno and Rummy. And Bingo too! She liked that. I think sometimes Grandma Fessel would change the rules to try and win. lol Every time I play Rummy I think of her.

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~~~~~

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

Ok, I might need some work on this one! I think it would be quite difficult to completely conquer this but I can definitely try harder. I worry, I fear, and I get angry. Sometimes I even make my own trouble. Perhaps I can take a step back and reflect. Is this something I should really worry about? Is this something to fear? Do I really need to be angry over this? I must learn to be content and to trust God in the things that are unknown to me.

Lynnette's book-Chapter 12 & Week 9 The Secret

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Worrying is something everyone does. Lynnette worried about things surrounding Anna, such as getting pregnant and not being able to take care of her properly and Anna's tests. Worrying can wreak havoc on your body and your mind. Trusting in God and His plan for us can help ease that worry. Learning to trust isn't always easy. What things do you worry about? Do you find it easy to give these worries to God? I agree with Lynnette that focusing on God takes effort. Let's face it, there are lots of distractions in this world. But God is infinitely better than the world.

Lynnette talks about the journals she has where she writes about the funny things her kids have said and done. I bet those journals are great for looking back on for the whole family. I think we all want our children to have fond memories to look back on and having a journal to record them is a great way to remember. What memories of your childhood make you smile?

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~~~~~

To give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticize others.

Nobody likes to be criticized. It doesn't feel good to be on the receiving end of criticism. So if we know how bad it feels, why do we do it to others? None of us are perfect and we all make different choices. Our choices may not be the same ones others would make and vice versa but that doesn't mean they are wrong.

If I spend more time trying to improve myself, I will take less notice of the flaws or annoyances of others. I think everyone could use a little improvement in some area!

Lynnette's book-Chapter 11 & Week 8 The Secret

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I imagine the holidays were a joyous occasion for the Kraft family that year as Anna was doing well. They had to be careful though in making sure no sickness came into the house, so they did not venture out often. I'm sure at times it could get a little claustrophobic but I know that I would do the same if I needed to. You learn to adapt to things that are best for your family.

Lynnette says that they learned valuable lessons during the time when they had to stay in to protect Anna. They saw that their walk with the Lord was more of a performance than a genuine walk. This really got me thinking! How many times do we do things to make ourselves look better? We've all done it. I know I'm guilty of it. Why do we feel the need to try and please others when the Lord is all we need to please? I imagine the time spent at home was very eye-opening and I'm glad Lynnette shared it in her book. It's made me realize more that missing a church service one week isn't the end of the world. Do you think that you can grow in faith without going to church?

I like to imagine what it would be like to be able to stay home with my family all the time and not go anywhere and I think I would be perfectly content!!
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~~~~~

To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature I meet.

Now, this isn't hard for me to do at all! I am a very cheerful person and almost always have a smile on my face. Even on bad days, I can often find something to smile about. I don't think I can even think of one day when I have not smiled, even on my journey with Carleigh. Smiling and being cheerful can be quite contagious and can lift a bad mood. I've witnessed this myself in taking care of patients at my job. Smiling makes me feel better too.

Lynnette's book-Chapter 9 & Week 6 The Secret

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This book reading is for In Faithfulness, He Afflicted Me by Lynnette Kraft.

It's good that Anna had those extra fat reserves since she had lost some weight. God definitely was good in allowing Lynnette to carry Anna those extra weeks. I don't blame Lynnette and Kyle for wanting to live out in the country with the fresh air and less chances of encounters with germs. That's exactly where I'd want to be!

I grew up in the country and it's where I've always wanted to live. Right now we live in a town that is small enough to be considered the country but I do desire to live even more in the country and we'll get there soon enough. Where do you desire to live?

The Nightmare House definitely sounds like a nightmare! Older houses do need more work but they also have a lot of charms that can't always be found in newer houses.

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~~~~~

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.

I am always happy to hear about the success of my family and friends. Good news is always great to hear! This even includes news of pregnancy or a baby. I can handle baby things better with those close to me than those I don't know, but I would also never want someone to experience what the death of your baby is like. I am getting better at seeing strangers in public that are pregnant or have babies. I've often avoided looking or going near them. I'm learning that I should be happy for them too.

Lynnette's book-Chapter 8 & Week 5 The Secret

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Lynnette had prayed that Anna would be able to spend extra time in the womb and she sure did! An extra 2 weeks! She began to feed her family a healthier diet, which I think was smart. Eating healthy is the best way to stay healthy all around. Although I'm not to sure about that green juice made from young barley grass! lol I would prolly be thinking of yard grass if I was drinking it and that doesn't really turn me on to it. Heck, maybe it tastes good. Have you incorporated any healthier living into your family?

I'm so glad that Lynnette had a nice delivery with Anna. I'm sure it made things easier for both her and Anna. I doubt that if it was a difficult one the doctors would've let her leave the hospital so soon, but you never know. It was so nice that they could hold and cuddle with Anna before the doctors took her. I had imagined they would whisk her away.

It made me mad to read about yet another doctor and their uncompassionate ways. I really think that they should teach a class on compassion in medical school. I dunno, maybe that's something you just can't teach. I don't know, like Lynnette, why people would choose to go into a profession like a pediatric cardiologist and then show a dislike to everyone. Maybe they were having an off day but it still doesn't excuse acting in that manner. You suck it up. Have you encountered any doctors like this?

I'm so glad that families can have a place like the Ronald McDonald house to go to stay. Otherwise it would get very expensive. The medical bills are bad enough!!

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~~~~~

To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.

I definitely want to be the best person I can be, but I have times when I don't think, work, or expect the best. Can I blame that on human nature? It's hard to think of the best of anything when a tragedy occurs. You're just trying to keep your head above the water. Worry and anxiety can set in and further keep you from thinking about the best of things. I think this is just something that takes time.

Lynnette's Book-Chapter 7 & Week 4 The Secret

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This book reading is for In Faithfulness, He Afflicted Me by Lynnette Kraft. (To visit Lynnette's blog click here.)

At the beginning of Chapter 7, Lynnette says that like any other mommy would do, she asked God every day to let her little girl's problems go away but if she must have them then to make them less severe so she'd be able to live without much intervention. Well, I must not be like every other mommy because I did not pray for Carleigh to be healed. Not even once. I knew very well that God could heal her and if that was His will then I'd be forever grateful but I just could never bring myself to ask for that. I know that plenty of other people prayed for healing though. What I did pray for was that she could be born alive so we could spend some time with her living outside the womb. We obviously didn't get that but God is still good.

When Lynnette was out one day with her mom she said, "I know why God didn't leave the boys here with me, because he knew that I could never handle a sick child." Lynnette gives us 2 verses to dispel the common "God will never give you more than you can handle" line.

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. 2 Corinthians 1:8-10

What do you think of these verses and how they relate to that line?

I am so with Lynnette on the word 'birth defect'. I hate the word. I don't think my daughter was defective at all. I think she was perfect just the way she was. Although, like Lynnette, I have used it at times for lack of a better word. I prefer to use the word anomaly if I must refer to her anencephaly as something. Anomaly means deviation from the average or norm.

I think it's really neat how Lynnette felt so in touch with God that one morning while reading scriptures. Have you had any moments in your life where you felt really close to God?

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~~~~~

To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.

I am a total optimist. The glass is always half full for me even when it may seem more cloudy than sunny. It's just how I've always been. It's part of my personality. Enough said. :)

Lynnette's book-Chapter 6 & Week 3 The Secret

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This book reading is for In Faithfulness, He Afflicted Me by Lynnette Kraft. (To visit Lynnette's blog click here.)

This will be a short one from me this week (sorry) as I'm tired, hungry, nauseous, and my teeth hurt (had a visit to the dentist). I hope all you ladies reading along will pick up the slack for me. Love you all.

In this chapter Lynnette shared about Kyle's business venture and how it didn't quite work out as hoped. How many things in life don't go as we have planned? I can definitely say that there are paths and outcomes that I never planned or imagined would happen in my life. But God has used both the good and the bad. Are there things in your life you imagined different?

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~~~~~

To make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.

I hope that I make all of my friends know how much they mean to me. I believe I am a loyal friend. Just call on me and I am there. When I give you my word I try my hardest to keep it. I'm sure there are times when I haven't been a good friend and I am sorry for that. Where we live I don't have a lot of IRL friends. I have my Lindsey and I'm so grateful for her. She's definitely my best friend.

Lindsey, you are a wonderful and beautiful friend and woman and I'm so glad that God brought you in my life. You make work fun and I'm glad we can share so many parts of our lives together. I know that I can share anything with you. I don't know if you'll ever read this but I love you and thank you for being my friend!

Lynnette's book-Chapter 5 & Week 2 The Secret

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This book reading is for In Faithfulness, He Afflicted Me by Lynnette Kraft. (To visit Lynnette's blog click here.)

I definitely agree with Lynnette when she says that her and Kyle were able to look at life through different eyes. Your perspective really does change. Things that you thought mattered so much suddenly seem so insignificant. I can definitely say I care less about some things than I used to like housework for instance. I think my husband would vouch for me on this because he definitely has seen me doing less! I also agree that God can continue to work in our lives if we allow Him.

I think it's wonderful that Kyle was involved with the college kids but you can only do so much before it starts to become a strain. I'm pretty sure I would've felt the same as Lynnette if something kept Anthony from spending time together as a family, and really I think we could honestly use some work on that area anyway. It's hard during the week because we have a set routine but I think we could be more flexible during the weekends on our family time. I'd like to get out more and do things like go to the park or visit fun places that have things for Kyndra to do. What are some things you would like to do more as a family?

Uncertainty plagues us all at times. It was there at times when Lynnette was pregnant with Cecily and I certainly feel it myself as we TTC. I don't know what God has planned for us but I know that no matter what it is He will be with us every step of the way. I've already lived through the worst thing I possibly could and I survived. I continue to live my life and survive.

Reading about Lynnette's pregnancy and birth of Cecily got me thinking about what is ahead of me. (And just a side note-Cecily was the same weight and length as Kyndra was when she was born. ) I'm already praying that we will be able to keep our next baby. I know Kyndra won't really be able to grasp what my next pregnancy will be like for us but I think Hannah may. I have to wonder if she will be hoping that her next sibling will live. We'll all cross that bridge together when it comes.

I already know that each moment I will cherish and it will be sweeter now that we have lost Carleigh. No matter how many more children we have, she will always remain close to our hearts. I know I will still think about her every day (just like I think of Jordan too). I'm so with Lynnette. I'll take a boring day any day.

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~~~~~

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.

I think that I do a good job at all three of these most of the time. I am naturally a positive and happy person. The glass is always half full for me. Even with losing Carleigh, I much prefer to focus on good things. I don't like to be sad. I don't like to be angry. I know it is normal to feel those things but I would rather deal with them and have it resolved than dwell on them.

I enjoy lifting people up and making them feel better. I mean, who likes to make people feel bad? One thing I notice often is that when I am a cheerful person around my patients it affects their mood and makes them more cheerful too. Didn't they do a study about happy people living longer? Yeah, I'm pretty sure they did. :)

Week 1 of The Secret

For the next 12 weeks I am taking The Secret. In my walk to become a better person, I will go over what the line means to me and how I applied it in my week. I hope that you will follow along with Stephanie and every week post on your blog a line from The Secret and how you’ve applied that line in your life that week. By the end of the 12 weeks, I hope to notice the better person I’ve become along with bringing better people into my life. Come along on the journey with us and let’s put The Secret to the test.


To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.

What does peace of mind mean exactly? The absence of mental stress or anxiety and the presence of serenity, calm, quiet, and comfort of mind.

I took a moment to stop and think if I had a lot of stress and anxiety in my life. While I don't feel I have a whole lot, there is some there and it's hard to imagine a life completely absent of either. My life always feels so busy. Too many things to do and not enough hours in the day to get them done. But how many of these things that I feel are so important really are? Do these things really matter?

I think they matter to some extent. As far as household duties (which is probably a big one), it is good to take care of the things that you are blessed with but I don't think that you should stress over them. I've realized (with my husband pointing it out to me) that I spend a lot of time on the computer. What am I spending my time doing? I have 2 emails, 2 blogs, Facebook, Cafemom, my support groups, and I'm a BlogFrog community leader. I've got a lot to keep up on! Do the things I do online really matter? Again, I think they do to some extent. I've met a lot of great people online and some great friends, too. I don't think God brought these people into my life for no reason so I think it is important for me to keep in touch. (Plus I don't have a lot of friends that I hang out with where I live.) I have cut back on my online time and I'm trying to cut it back some more (key word being trying lol). Of course, my Blackberry makes it easy for me to answer emails quickly. (Thank goodness for technology. ha!)

My grief is still a stressor in my life too. For the most part I feel I am doing very well, but I still have some things to deal with. This is the part of my life where I feel I will never be given peace of mind. How can I have complete peace of mind when my heart itself is not complete? I honestly don't see how I can. All I can do is try my best, and I promise to do that.

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