A little late but I've been gone for over a week and just didn't feel like getting online and finishing it til now.
Day 26 – your week, in great detail
Gonna skip this one because I don't remember back on day 26 what my week was like but this past week I stayed at my mom and dad's house with the girls.
Day 27 – your worst habit since your child’s death
Prolly spending too much time on the computer. Before blogland I never got on as much as I do now, but compared to a year ago I do spend a little less time on it.
Day 28 – what’s in your handbag/purse
Lots! I like to carry as much in my purse as I can. I like to be prepared for anything I might need. However, most of the time right now I don't carry my purse around because I just throw my wallet in the diaper bag.
Day 29 – hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days
I hope that in the next year we will be able to pay off our debts and buy a new house. I plan to just be happy and enjoy my family.
Day 30 – a dream for the future
I would love to be a surrogate for someone who couldn't carry a child. Whether it will actually happen I'm not sure.
Buy this and follow the directions on the side to make blueberry streusel muffins. Oh my gosh, they are so good. My new favorite thing to make.
Day 22 – a website that has been meaningful since your loss
The website for Sufficient Grace Ministries has meant the most to me. Kelly does a great job at reaching out to women and helping them through their grief, whether it is through her words or the services of her ministry.
Day 23 – a youtube video that makes you laugh
I remember when this was going around FB. It really cracked me up!! I even had to show my hubby and he thought it was hilarious! The first video is the news story and then someone made it into a song for the second video.
Day 24 – where you live
My husband and I are originally from NW Ohio. We moved to SW Ohio 5 years ago because of my job. We bought our home right before we got married. It’s in a very, very small town in the middle of cornfields. It’s basically like living in the country even though our neighbors are a little closer.
Most of our neighbors are older and we like it that way. And I’m pretty sure they like us too because I know they don’t want us to move!
Our house is aluminum siding and could really use a new paint job or new vinyl siding. We’d really love to have a garage too instead of the seen-better-days ‘garage’ out back. We have an upground pool that we are going to tear down this next year and most likely put a new one up since it has also seen better days.
We have a decent sized yard as our property is actually two lots instead of one. We have a little playset in the back yard for Kyndra that she loves to swing and play on (you can kinda see it in the last pic) .
The pictures below were taken in July 2009. Don’t mind the weeds! I haven’t been very diligent about pulling them the past 2 summers.
Day 25 – your day, in great detail
Since I’m still on maternity leave right now my day is a little different than it normally is.
I woke up around 2 am to feed Lainey, change her diaper, and to pump. I woke up again around 4:30 am for another feed, change, and pump session. Got up for the day at 6:15 am and started off with a feed, change, and pump. Anthony got up around 6:45 am and Kyndra was up not long after so I went up and got her and changed her diaper. Lainey was chilling out on the boppy while Kyndra drank some chocolate milk and I had some Golden Grahams cereal.
Kyndra watched some tv and played most of the day. Lainey slept and ate most of the day.
My activities for the day included catching up on my devotion, checking my email, checking in on FB, reading a couple blogs, uploading and editing pictures, washing and folding laundry, dishes, watching tv, getting the mail, making wipes, stuffing diapers, feeding Lainey, and playing with Kyndra.
I’m not gonna go into great detail on all of that because it might be a little boring.
As far as tonight, Anthony will be home soon and we’ll eat supper. He’ll prolly ride his bike down in the den while Kyndra plays and I’ll be in the living room feeding Lainey and watching tv. I think I’ll skip baths for the girls tonight so that Anthony and I can watch a movie and eat ice cream.
Day 11 – a photo of you recently and how it makes you feel seeing it now
This is the most recent photo of me. I took it this past weekend. It makes me feel really happy. :) Our little rainbow is such a blessing and I’m just so glad that she’s here.
Day 12 – something you are OCD about
I’m big on organization. I like things to be in their proper place. Every once in a while I’ll go through the house and reorganize things and get rid of stuff. I think Anthony hates it when I do that because he never know what stuff of his is gonna bite the dust. lol I’m also the mom that if the toys aren’t put back where they’re supposed to be I’ll throw them away. I’ve done that on more than one occasion with Hannah. Kinda sounds mean but children are perfectly capable of learning how and where to put things away by a certain age. Not putting things away properly is the perfect way to lose things and it bugs me to no end when toys don’t have all their pieces.
Day 13 – a fictional book that is meaningful to you since your loss
I’m not really coming up with a fictional book that means something to me. I guess I like the children’s books that help explain loss and help remember the lost sibling.
Day 14 – a nonfictional book that is meaningful to you since your loss
Books that mean more to me now are ones that have stories similar to mine like Waiting with Gabriel, In Faithfulness, He Afflicted Me, and I Will Carry You. I can relate a lot to them and it’s just something that’s familiar to me.
Day 15 – what you like about your house
We bought our house 5 years ago. It was the nicest house that we looked at and I knew immediately when we toured it that it was the one. The thing I like about our house is the location. We live in a really small town but it feels more like country so we’re kinda the in between. Plus, we have great neighbors.
Above is a picture of the back of our house during our annual cookout this past summer.
Another plus of our house is that we have a pretty big yard compared to the other houses in our area. We actually have 2 lots and depending on what we decide to do later we could have a 3rd once the house beside us is demolished.
Nothing makes me smile like seeing my girls together. I just wish that there was another little girl in this picture.
Day 8 – a photo that makes you angry/sad
There are a few photos that make me sad but I chose this one to share. It is me giving Carleigh one last kiss before I closed and sealed the casket. My last chance to touch her and see her this side of Heaven. It makes me sad because I wish that we had more time together.
Day 9 – a photo you took since your loss
Gosh, I’ve taken lots of pictures. This is a picture of Kyndra taken just the day after Carleigh was born and the day we also came home. She was 14 months old. Even then, this little girl could make me smile. She had gotten a hold of my parents’ toothbrushes and was playing in the empty suitcase.
Day 10 – a photo taken over 10 years ago of you and how it makes you feel seeing it now
I don’t have any pictures over 10 years ago except for pics that would be in my senior scrapbook, but I didn’t feel like trying to scan them. So the closest I could get is the above pic, which was taken about 8 1/2 years ago. It was the end of my freshman year in college and me and 3 of my girlfriends went out to Arizona for a week and stayed with my friend’s brother and his friends. The pic is of me and my best friend Rachel. We were both 18 years old.
Seeing this picture now makes me remember how much fun we had that week and how taking the trip pretty much ended an engagement for me. Life was so carefree then but it changed in just a matter of months when I found out I was pregnant and made a choice that forever changed me.
I know some other people are doing the 30 posts in 30 days and I thought I would go ahead and do it too, even though I am behind!! Story of my life lately. So here goes!
Day 1 - a song that reminds you of your child, or one that you can't listen to anymore and why
Undoubtedly it is Still by Gerrit Hofsink. I found the song one day while searching for songs about losing a child and I loved it from the minute I heard it. It's the song that you hear when you come to my blog-the 1st on my playlist at the bottom. Of course, there are other songs that remind me of her but this one I think is just beautiful. The next one I would say would be I Will Carry You by Selah, which is the 2nd on my playlist.
I haven't found any songs that I can't listen to anymore. Some are more difficult to listen to because they take me back to certain times on our journey. Like He Will Carry Me by Mark Schultz. It instantly reminds me of sitting in the church for her service just holding her and crying while the song was playing. It has the tendency to make me tear up.
Day 2 - a movie that helped you get through the hard times, or one that jumps out at you after your loss.
I've always enjoyed comedies and watching them kinda took me away for a bit and allowed me to laugh. There isn't any particular one that stands out. I'm just now kinda getting back to where I'll watch other movies but for a while there if my hubby gave me the choices of movies I would always pick the comedy.
Aside from comedies, movies I really enjoy both before and even more now are inspirational movies like Flywheel, Facing the Giants, and Fireproof. I really love movies that share about faith and God like these.
Day 3 - a television program that helped you either get through hard times or that moves you.
There's a lot of crap on tv and I can't think of a single program that has helped me at all in hard times. They help me when I'm bored and have nothing else to do and that's about it. One of my favorite programs to watch is House.
Day 4 - your favorite book. has it changed since your loss?
I love reading books. I'm not sure if I have a favorite. I like to read fiction and get lost in stories. I read a lot of vampire novels after Carleigh was born. My best friend Lindsey and I kinda made it a mission to see how many different vampire novels we can read. It's slowed down from when we first started but we're still on the mission.
I wish I could say I've spent more time in the Bible since losing Carleigh but I really haven't. I have done better this year though in starting a devotion (which I have seriously slacked on lately).
Day 5 - your favorite quote.
One of my favorite verses from the Bible is Romans 8:38-39: For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
My Forever Child- Remembrance Jewelry, Memorial Keepsakes, Sympathy and Decorative Gifts to comfort those touched by the loss of a Child. Personalized, Engraved & Handcrafted Miscarriage-Pregnancy Loss Bracelets, Baby-Infant Footprints Charms, Custom Necklace Pendants with your child's Footprint, Handprint image or photograph.
Please feel free to email me with any questions, comments, etc. I just love hearing from you! If you are carrying a child with a fatal diagnosis or have lost a child and need some direction feel free to email me at caring4carleigh at yahoo dot com.
From a Lullaby to Goodbye
Contains Carleigh's story as told here. Click picture to buy.
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