Wednesday, February 23, 2011

2 is coming

Carleigh's birthday is just over a month away and I'm not quite sure how we're gonna celebrate it this year. For her 1st birthday we had a big party and invited a lot of people. I went all out for it. It was wonderful and beautiful and I'm so glad that we celebrated the way that we did but....a part of me was disappointed in the turnout. It really upset me at the beginning of the party until Anthony said that this party was about Carleigh and not anyone else. He was totally right and I kinda shifted my focus off who didn't come to having the best birthday I could for my little girl.

I've contemplated having something small and leaving an open invitation to anyone who wanted to join us or just having it be me, Anthony, and the girls. I know I would like to get a cake made by the same lady who did it last year and I want to release some balloons but other than that it's all up in the air. I'd love suggestions if anyone has any!

19 comments:

tomandcheryl said...

Whatever you end up doing it will be a special honor to your special little girl.
~Cheryl

Betty said...

I doubt we will do anything at all for Vanessa. No one in our family is supportive at all. I would say just do something as a family. Leave it open in case grandparents want to come, but other than that it would be fine with just the 4 of you...those who love her most!

New Year Mum said...

Sounds like a lovely idea to have a party to remember her birthday... it is for her and you're family but it is rough that others just don't understand. We made a cake for Gabrielle's first birth day and visited where she's buried... I'm sure others thought we were very strange but it was for her and us... not them. Love always xoxo

Stacy said...

I've already contemplated everything you just mentioned for Rachel's birthday and she's only been gone 11 weeks... I was thinking about having a party, but asking people to bring gifts that I could donate to the local pregnancy help center (pro-life) in her name. People feel strange if there is nothing they can bring and maybe if there is another purpose they'd be more likely to show up. It's so hard, I can imagine it would hurt to not have people show up. The other thing is maybe you could ask for RSVP's (if they actually do it) so you know what to expect ahead of time and aren't caught off guard...those are my thoughts...hope it helps. love & hope <3 Stacy

Sarita Boyette said...

I remember your blogging about all the preparations you made & not all those you were expecting showing up. That is heartbreaking, and I wish I could have done something to ease your pain. I don't know what the answer is - a couple of my relatives gave me a hard time about the little party we had for Meredith. I hope you figure out something that will be less stress for you and at the same time, honor Carleigh the way you desire. xoxo

mary said...

Les gens sont très mal à l'aise avec les anniversaires des personnes disparues et je dois dire qu'il fut une époque j'étais un peu pareil. Je pense que faire quelques choses avec votre famille proche est une bonne idée, d'autres personnes peuvent vous rejoindre après pour les ballons.
Ici, une bougie sera allumée pour votre princesse et elle nous accompagnera pour la soirée.

TanaLee Davis said...

I think you'll come up with something beautiful and I wouldn't doubt that for a second...your very creative.
I would love to give you a suggestion but my brain is mush right now. Maybe use the color that means something to you when thinking of her as the theme and work your way out. It will happen..
Update us as you can about the plans.
~Felicia

AKD said...

I've been unsure how to celebrate Maddie's two year, too. I was on bedrest last year, so my husband and I did a balloon release with just the two of us. I know that you'll love whatever you do.

Melissa said...

2 years?!? I remember reading your posts and looking at pictures from Carleigh's 1st birthday! I'm thinking you did such a great job for her 1st birthday it might be hard to top it.

One of thing we are thinking about doing next year is going on a trip for her birthday.

For Amelia's 1st we will visit her grave, bring flowers and Happy 1st Birthday balloon, light a candle, we considered visiting the zoo where her name is engraved on a butterfly, planting a new "something" in her garden, making a cake/cupcakes, and donating blood in her honor.

I so wish we were having a party, but husband doesn't feel up to it. :(

Whatever you end up doing will be fabulous - I'm sure of it!

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I remember the beautiful 1st Birthday party you did for Carleigh last year and I remember how you felt about the turnout. I share my BLM stories with friends and family because you are all in my heart. I get it, I understand the parties but most people don't and that is sad. People just don't understand why someone would celebrate their deceased childs birthday but that is only because they haven't been in your shoes. I believe that if you want to do a big celebration each year then that is what you should do. If you would have less hurt feeling by keeping it small with open invitations then that would be the way to go. The important thing is that you, Anthony, Kyndra and Lainey have her party each year. I hope you understood what I was saying. Just like Betty said about her family not being supportive, that really breaks my heart.

Monica said...

I love that you celebrate Carleigh's birthday with so many! I have to say our 2nd birthday celebration for Devon was so much harder than her 1st. Probably because our family received so much love, and so many people supported us on her 1st, and we didn't hear from anyone (only 1 person outside the family) for her 2nd. That was really hard. I hope your experience it different!!!

Mom Putnam said...

Keep it very simple....... Love, Mom

lost--for--words said...

I like your idea of the balloon release and cake. It was agonizing last year to try to plan some kind of birthday celebration for Freja and whether or not to invite family. I think we made the right decision in the end - for DP, me, and the girls to spend the day together. I did make small packages for our close family members, each containing a suncatcher, a slideshow dvd, a picture, and a couple of other things. Honestly, I don't even remember anyone commenting on the dvd so I won't be doing that again this year.
I think we will stick with our 'usual' way of celebrating - Making a cake, spending time together, visiting Freja, and just reflecting and letting it be HER day. Maybe I will get the kids to make something special to take to their sister when we visit her.

Lisette said...

I am sure that whatever you decide to do is going to be a beautiful celebration of her life. A cake and balloon release with close family and friends would be a good idea. I think I will do that for Sami's 2nd bday too.

Mary said...

I think at Adelle's two year we are just goign to have a simple family party. Something that is just like our other kids, so she is included. Cake, flowers to her grave, balloon release. And of course, we have donuts on the morning of everyone's birthday!

Anna Marie said...

Holly, I can't believe her 2nd birthday is already coming up! I'm sure you will find a way to show your love in a wonderful way! I love how you celebrated last year.

stitchndeb said...

However you want to celebrate for Carleigh this year will be perfect!! Do it for her, like Anthony said, then you won't be disappointed expecting others there. I hope I said that right. Your husband is so nice. ~Debbie

Caroline said...

It's so hard to believe 2 yrs have passed already. Seems just like yesterday you had her. I'm sure whatever you decide will be wonderful. She is a very special little girl.
{{HUGS}}

Jennifer Ross said...

We released balloons for Isaiah at the beach, while the sun was setting. It was a beautiful/sad moment.

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