Return to Zero

This amazing movie about stillbirth premiered last night on Lifetime. It was the first global premiere of a movie on Lifetime and I’m so glad it was a movie that touched on stillbirth, loss, and grief.

RETURN TO ZERO - Official Trailer from Sean Hanish on Vimeo.

I won’t talk about what happened as not to spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen it but I will say that it was AMAZING. It was so true to life and I was able to relate to it, as were many others. This movie could only have been made by someone who has been there. Anyone else would never got it right.

The movie is available for preorder on Amazon. I definitely want to get this movie.

I will say that at the end of the movie before the credits were the names of many babies. People were given an opportunity to donate towards the movie to help fund it and if they did they were able to have their baby/babies’ name(s) at the end of the film. I donated through stillbirthday for the movie and I had Carleigh, Jordan, and Leah put in it. Although, I wish I would have put that Leah’s last name was different because they grouped her with my babies’ last name. That’s ok though, she was still there.

I highly recommend seeing the movie, but I will also warn you that it is emotional. Have tissues!!!

Day 9 ~ Capture Your Grief

Music: This might be hard to capture in a photograph so why not post a youtube clip of a piece of music that reminds your of your baby/ies/child/ren. Why this piece of music?

There are many songs that make me think of her or even think of a certain point in time on this road I’ve been on. So to choose just one is impossible, but I will share one of the many.

There is a song I found a few years ago that I had never heard before, which only makes sense because it was released in January 2009 and we lost Carleigh in March 2009. I found it accidentally while searching on some random music site. I heard it and it just blew me away. I have loved it ever since. It is Still by Gerrit Hofsink. I bought it the very same day I heard it.

source

Born in Silence

Approximately 3 million babies are stillborn each year throughout the world. In the US, that's one baby, one family, every 21 minutes.

Amazing video about stillbirth and just babyloss in general.

A Heavy Heart

My heart has been extremely heavy. I learned yesterday that my friend's son, Jordan, was born still.

My heart has been aching for her and her family and has been weighed down with grief for them. This has all hit me so hard. It is very difficult to see a friend go through such a tragedy. You never want to see someone you love go through something like this.

I was in tears for several hours yesterday after I found out and today in church, I felt the weight greatly. I poured my heart out in prayer at the altar over this whole situation.

Please say a prayer for Scott and Kristi. We all know how rough this road can be and they need it right now.

Certificate of Stillbirth

I have always not liked having a birth certificate for Carleigh. I've always believed she had a right to one. I mean, she was born wasn't she? I get that birth certificates are for live births but I still wanted something to document her birth. I was able to find out that the Ohio Department of Health will issue you a certificate of stillbirth if you request one. So I put in my request months ago.

It was only only supposed to take a few weeks but the weeks went by and then months and I never heard anything or got anything in the mail. I thought about requesting it again several times but decided to just wait. Well, today I received an envelope in the mail from ODH and I was hoping that this was it. I wasn't sure as the envelope was addressed to Anthony.

I opened it up and it was indeed Carleigh's certified certificate of stillbirth. I can't tell you how happy I am to finally get it! All I have had is a death certificate and now I have a certificate that documents she was born. You wouldn't think a piece of paper would mean that much, but it means something to me.