Much of the support that is available to those who are grieving the loss of a child focuses on the mothers, but the fathers also need support even if they don’t show it. Sufficient Grace Ministries is currently working on a booklet to support fathers after the loss of a baby through miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant death.
In Kelly’s own words, “Men and women grieve differently and the focus is often on the mother. I often think the struggle fathers face at the loss of a baby is two fold. They are not only grieving the loss of their child, but often the added struggle that they are feeling for the grief of their wives. A husband wants to protect his wife and family, to make it better. This is a hurt he couldn't protect her from, a grief he can't make better. Our hearts go out to the unique position a dad is left in as he navigates through grief, often quietly and with little support.”
If you are a father would you be willing to take some time to answer these questions? If you are a mother will you please help the ministry by asking your husband or significant other to answer some questions? You can email us the answers at firstname.lastname@example.org. Your insights can help us better support the fathers we serve. Many hospitals and individuals have been asking for resources for fathers, and we would like to provide this booklet with our Dreams of You materials to help.
The questions are below:
- What are ways the hospital can help support a father specifically?
- Are there things that would have helped initially and also later on in the grieving process, understanding that men and women often grieve differently?
- What has been helpful and not-so-helpful to you both initially and as you walk through the grief process by hospital/funeral homes/others?
- What kinds of support would be helpful to fathers?
- Is there anything else you would like to share from a father's perspective?